


Take Me Home To My Heart

by xLoveMx



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, SnowBarry - Freeform, Snowallen, The Flash - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:44:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3437396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLoveMx/pseuds/xLoveMx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suddenly the air seemed thicker, like there was a certain electricity between them, one that, for once, didn´t have anything to do with his speed. It was probably a bad idea, and if she had been sober she would have sent him home and fallen asleep then, but Caitlin wasn´t sober, and she was tired of being alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so this happened because the idea got stuck in my head and I had to write it down. Comments on whether or not you´d like me to continue would be much appreciated! :)

Caitlin was irritated. She had been all morning, really. It had started the moment she had woken up and felt like she´d rather turn over and crawl back under her covers. Surely, there were days like these when she woke up with a tug on her stomach, knowing that she would have to go back and watch Barry run head first into something that could potentially end up killing him, but usually that feeling quieted down when she arrived at S.T.A.R labs, at least for a while. Today was different though, and the fact that she couldn´t pinpoint why was throwing her off even more.

When days like these occurred Caitlin usually ended up buying herself one of the delicious chocolate chip cookies at Jitters, which she had come to love during the last month, but to make matters worse she had ended up going there with none left. She wasn´t even sure how that was possible at 8am, but apparently it just wasn´t her day. She had ended up buying a piece of cheesecake instead, because while it had absolutely nothing to do with the chocolate chip cookie she had wanted Caitlin had needed something sweet, and the cake had looked quite delicious as well once she had caught sight of it in the display.

When she arrived at the lab Cisco was already typing on his computer, giving her a bright grin as he noticed her. It was colder than usual, both in the lab and in Central City, even for January, so Caitlin pulled her coat a little tighter around herself, shivering. Had they turned off the heater? It felt like that, to say the least, so she decided to keep her coat on for a little while longer as she checked up on that.

“You look like you haven´t slept at all,” Cisco remarked a moment later and Caitlin shot him an angry glare.

“That´s exactly what a woman wants to hear, Cisco. Thank you very much,” This time it was Cisco who felt the temperature in the room drop and he quickly raised his hands in defence before directing his eyes back to his computer screen. He wasn´t stupid, sometimes he might say things before he had thought them through, but he knew when she was upset and when not to bother her, because he valued their friendship and well, his life.

“Where´s Dr. Wells?” Caitlin asked eventually, trying not to let his comment bother her. She had slept very well, thank you very much, and it wasn´t her fault that Jitters didn´t have her favourite cookie, was it? She sat down, eyes fixed on Cisco, taking the cheesecake out of its box as she waited for an answer.

“He´s got an appointment. He wouldn´t tell me what is was about. Or maybe I just didn´t listen…it was very early,” Cisco replied once he was sure that she wasn´t going to yell at him again.

“And…Barry?”

 

_A month earlier, Christmas Eve._

 

She was drunk. Most definitely and utterly drunk, that was for sure. It wasn´t even like Caitlin had planned on it, but the sight of Iris and Eddie all happy and wrapped up in each other´s arms had been too much. She was happy for them, of course, but after everything that had happened with Ronnie, or what was left of him, she wasn´t coping very well and when she had been offered eggnog over and over again she hadn´t said no.

Barry wasn´t exactly ecstatic to be there either. Surely, he was glad that Caitlin and Cisco had come to join them, actually he was thankful for that, because spending Christmas with no one but Joe, Iris and Eddie would have probably been worse. He had tried his best to focus on talking with Cisco or Joe, but it wasn´t exactly easy to avoid Eddie in such close proximity, especially when he wanted to keep up the charade that everything was fine between the three of them. It wasn´t really helping that he couldn´t get drunk either, because that would have at least numbed the pain for a little while. This way he was forced to have his heart broken over and over again as he watched them be the happy couple they were.

“You know, I am able to scientifically explain how the feeling of love is constructed by our body and yet I can´t control the emotions that come with it, especially the sad ones.” Caitlin´s voice was quiet as she spoke, leaning against Barry´s shoulder for support. He could smell the alcohol on her breath as he turned to look at her, noticing just how watery her eyes were.

  _Leave it to Caitlin to still be able to form long, correct sentences when drunk,_ Barry thought and there was a hint of a smile on his face for the fraction of a second. “I think we should get you home,” he then told her, practically jumping at the chance to get away from here. It made him sad, really, because this was the house he had grown up in, this was his family, but he needed a break and even if he had to return he could at least have some time to himself while he pretended to actually take the time it needed to get Caitlin home in a cab. Of course he wasn´t going to call a cab for them, but Iris and Eddie were the only ones in the room who didn´t know that when they all said goodbye.

As soon as they were outside, Caitlin´s arms wrapped tightly around his neck, she knew the procedure, and he picked her up. They were at her place just a few seconds later and even though he put her down she held on a little longer, trying to fight off the dizziness that was partly to blame on the ride he had just given her and partly on the amount of alcohol she had consumed. She also took a moment longer to find the key so they could get into the apartment eventually. Part of her had expected Barry to leave again immediately, Caitlin wasn´t even sure why she had thought that, but when he didn´t she let out a sigh and leaned against him once more. She wanted to say something, tell him about Ronnie, about how she felt, but somehow she couldn´t. Caitlin had never been good with talking about her feelings, she rather kept them bottled up, especially after the accident, but she couldn´t ignore the fact that he felt warm pressed up against her and that the way his arms wrapped around her made her feel save. Caitlin had learned to take care of herself, had told herself that she didn´t need anyone, because if she didn´t let anyone close enough to care about them she wouldn´t get hurt. Still, the pain of losing Ronnie and the worry about Barry not returning whenever he went out to save the city were always there, she simply couldn´t shake those feelings, no matter how hard she tried.

“We should get you into bed…” Barry whispered, arms still wrapped around her and Caitlin wanted to nod, because it was the reasonable thing to do, but he was warm and the moment she pulled back to meet his eyes she could feel a tug on her stomach. It was something she hadn´t felt in a while and it was a feeling that didn´t seem to want to go away. Suddenly the air seemed thicker, like there was a certain electricity between them, one that, for once, didn´t have anything to do with his speed. It was probably a bad idea, and if she had been sober she would have sent him home and fallen asleep then, but Caitlin wasn´t sober, and she was tired of being alone.

“Only if you take me to bed…”

The words reached his ears and Barry immediately knew that it was a bad idea. He loved Iris. He had loved her for the longest time, even if she had broken his heart. Still, there was Caitlin, who cared about him and who was beautiful and smart and so much like him in a way that he couldn´t just take a step back and be rational about this. Before he could get even more wrapped up in his thoughts Barry held on tightly to her and within seconds they were on her bed. His heart was beating faster and the blood was pounding in his ears as he ran a hand over her shoulder and down her arm, feeling how her skin broke out into goose bumps. _It´s not too late to stop,_ he thought, suspecting that the same thing was going through Caitlin´s mind as he locked eyes with her. Still, she didn´t move or spoke a word. Instead she wrapped her legs around his waist to keep him close, if Barry wanted to run he had to take Caitlin with him. She was always the one who had to watch him run headfirst into danger and if this was the only way she could keep him from leaving, then that was what she was going to do.

It didn´t take more than a few seconds and the way Caitlin´s tongue darted out to lick her lips before he was kissing her, hips grinding down against hers. It was like the spark, the sort of electricity they´ve felt not a minute ago, set off into an explosion, (quite the unfortunate metaphor but neither of them could bring themselves to care at that moment,) and Caitlin´s hands fisted in the back of his shirt to pull him even closer. Despite the alcohol clouding her mind she could still feel every single move and noticed every small moan that tumbled from his lips, or her own when she felt his lips on her neck. It might have been a mistake, but for the first time in almost a year Caitlin didn´t feel alone and that alone had to be worth the aftermath, right?

 

_Present time._

 

“Caitlin? Are you even listening to me?” Cisco waved his hand in front of his colleagues face, a frown upon his features. Something had been different about Caitlin when she had walked in here this morning, but he had honestly believed it was the result of a lack of sleep, but apparently he had been wrong. “Caitlin you´re like, super pale.”

The cheesecake, which she had been eating, was half way gone when she felt her stomach turn and Cisco was barely able to call after her before the fork was dropped and Caitlin was running off in a desperate attempt to reach the bathroom in time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m so happy you guys like what you´ve read so far and I get stupidly excited at every comment you leave, so thank you for that! Today is my birthday, so I´ve spent half the night awake finishing this because I´ll be busy the next few days, I hope you enjoy chapter 2! :)

Caitlin didn’t make it to the bathroom, but barely to the nearest trash can. The bathroom was quite far though, in her defence, so nobody would have made it there in time, or well, no one except Barry. A sigh fell from her lips as she tried to hold her hair back while she was bent over the trash can, hoping that she wouldn´t throw up again.

“Caitlin?” Cisco´s tone was almost careful, as if he was afraid to upset her again. Another sigh followed his question though as she turned her head to look at him. At least now he had a reason to tell her that she was looking awful because she most definitely felt like she was.

“What?”

“Are you alright? And do you think it was the cheese cake?” At his words Caitlin frowned for a moment before shaking her head  slowly, just in case quick movements would trigger her nausea again.

“No, no I don´t think it was the cheesecake,” she then managed, which earned her a grin from Cisco.

“Good, can I have the leftovers then? Since it seems like you won´t…”

“Cisco!” Caitlin´s eyes darted around the room to find something she could throw at him, momentarily considering the trash can,  and the man seemed to have caught up with her intentions, because he ducked away quickly and was only saved by the fact that Barry had just appeared in the room, a big grin on his face.

“You guys won´t…wait, what´s happening?” He had needed a moment to catch up with the situation, but even Barry could tell that something was wrong when Caitlin was bent over the trash can on the floor and Cisco was ducking behind his computer screen.

“Nothing is happening, we´re fine.” Caitlin quickly replied as she tried her best not to look like a complete picture of misery, moving to get up from the floor while she sincerely hoped that her stomach wouldn´t, quite literally, turn on her again.

“Caitlin is sick and when I asked whether or not I could eat the leftovers of her cake she threated to throw something at me,” Cisco piped up from behind the screen and Caitlin didn´t even have the energy to roll her eyes at him. Instead she decided to glare at Cisco in favour of not having to look at Barry. They hadn´t really spoken about what had happened that night and to be honest, Caitlin wasn´t even sure what she would have said. It was something that had happened while she had been drunk and hurt and Barry had agreed because he had spent the better part of the evening watching the person he loved being happy with someone else. She didn´t blame him, she blamed herself, really, but Caitlin wouldn´t admit that. It seemed like he had wanted to talk to her more than once, but she had somehow always managed to avoid him, or at least made sure that they were never alone in a room, because she simply couldn´t deal with that on top of everything. What were they´re going to do? She didn´t want their friendship to be ruined, even though she highly suspected that avoiding talking to him at all costs wasn´t really helping the matter either, but Caitlin saw no other way.   
With Barry, things had been different from the day she had met him. When they had gotten him to S.T.A.R labs right after he had been hit by lightning she had barely even thought about it. She had been too occupied with her grief over losing Ronnie and he had been nothing but an experiment for her, especially because he wasn´t actually doing anything, just lying there and fighting for his life. After a week, and when the realization that Ronnie was really gone, had set in, Caitlin had become angry with Barry, even if he was still doing nothing but lying there and breathing. Why had he survived getting hit by lightning? Why couldn´t he have died that night instead of Ronnie? And while the incidents were related she had still known that Ronnie´s death couldn´t have been prevented, even if Barry had died that night, it had made her irrationally angry for quite a while.

Nowadays Caitlin often found herself thinking if she would give up knowing Barry for just a minute with Ronnie. Surely, she had gotten that minute not a month ago, and anything they had done to find him ever since then had ended in nothing other than more heartbreak for her, but if she could have a minute with the old Ronnie, the one that had loved her more than anything, that had risked his life to keep her safe, would she give up knowing Barry? On the night of the explosion that decision would have been easy, but now Caitlin wasn´t so sure anymore. Barry and she had shared many moments, moments of sadness and moments of laughter and another moment she was sure she would never forget. Even to this day it was hard for Caitlin to watch him do anything with his hands, even if it was something as simple as playing with his coffee cup, without feeling what those hands had done to her during that certain night. Whenever he spoke her eyes automatically darted towards his lips and sometimes, when she got in too deep, it was hard to breathe. It was those moments in which Caitlin cursed the sensual memory and the fact that, despite the amount of alcohol she had consumed, her memory of said night was still fully intact.

“Caitlin?” Barry´s voice pulled her from her thoughts then and damn it, now the way he had whispered into her ear that night was back again, sending a slight shiver down her spine as his words echoed in her head. “You´re pretty pale, Cisco is right.” He then told her, worry clearly etched into his expression as he looked at her. He had seen Caitlin in various states, from sadness over anger to even something that would come close to happiness, but the way she looked now was different from all of these things.

“I´m fine, Barry.” Caitlin then found herself replying, her tone a little sharper than usual. She didn´t even mean to react this way, especially since he was only trying to look out for her, but she couldn´t help it.  Her eyes locked with his for a moment and it seemed like all the unspoken things between them were suddenly out in the open, hanging in the air between them, and Caitlin was almost afraid that Cisco would catch up on it. A quick glance over at him told her that he was still partly occupied with hiding behind his computer screen, and also staring at her leftover cheesecake, to even notice anything remotely off though.

“I´m just trying to look out for you,” Barry then said, and there was more to it than meets the eye, Caitlin could tell. They were always looking out for each other, even if it wasn´t that obvious to everyone else, and maybe that was exactly what had happened that night after the Christmas party, they had just been trying to look out for each other and maybe Caitlin was terrified of having someone else to look after, someone else who was looking _after her_ , because the last person who had done that had ended up dead first and then, when he had turned up again unexpectedly, he hadn´t remembered a thing of his past life, not even her name.

“And I appreciate that, but I´m fine,” Caitlin then found herself repeating, the nausea momentarily flaring up as she leaned against the table for support. Barry was there in an instant, an arm wrapped around her waist to steady her. Caitlin´s whole body went stiff in within the matter of seconds and she hated herself for that reaction. Things had changed and for a moment she wished that they would have talked it out, that she wouldn´t have been too afraid to do it and to own up to what they had done.

“You should probably go see a doctor and then take the rest of the day off, and I´m not just saying that because I want the rest of your cheesecake,” Cisco then said, coming up from behind the desk to look at Caitlin, who still stood leaning against it, almost like she was paralysed, with Barry to support her.

“I can take you there,” Barry then offered and there are so many more things he wanted to say. _And then I´ll take you home. I´ll take care of you. We´ll work this out._ But it wasn´t the time and place to say those things now, especially not with how Caitlin had been acting in the past few weeks.

“No…no. I´m fine by myself,” Caitlin then managed, her stomach twisting once more as she moved to unwind his arm from her waist. “Besides, Dr. Wells is already out this morning. If I leave, along with Barry, then it´s only going to be Cisco, and knowing our luck something is going to happen.” Of course Caitlin knew that her excuse was lame, because if something happened Barry would be there in a heartbeat, but she really didn´t want him to come along with her. She was still afraid of that talk that was, in the end, unavoidable, but Caitlin knew that, as long as she had the chance, she would push it back.

She picked up her coat then, putting it on as she purposely avoided looking at Barry, focusing on Cisco instead. “Just make sure he doesn´t get himself in any trouble,” she then told him, because _‘doesn´t get himself killed’_ was not even something Caitlin wanted to think about. Instead she moved towards the exit, leaving the two men behind with her stomach twisting once more, but this time she highly suspected that it has nothing to do with whatever virus she must have caught.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the birthday wishes, guys! I´m happy you´re enjoying the story so far, and you´d be doing me a huge favor if you had a look at this post and voted in the poll, helping me to decide how the story might continue! :)  
> http://youcancallmekathyp.tumblr.com/post/112639111127/fanfic-stuff-under-the-cut-more-alright-but

Caitlin had momentarily considered not going to see a doctor at all, because she could have easily diagnosed herself with finding out what virus she had caught and they would have even had the medicine she would have needed at S.T.A.R labs, but that meant she would have to go back there and she really wasn´t in the mood for that. Besides, one of the advantages that came with working at S.T.A.R labs was the private health insurance, and that meant that she wouldn´t have to wait. She would be able to get herself checked up and then go home to calm herself down a little. Caitlin had known that something about today was off the moment she had woken up, but that things would almost get out of hand wasn´t something she had expected to happen.

“It´s alright…you just have to calm down and get your thoughts sorted out,” she murmured to herself as she waited to the doctor to return. She had told him about how she had felt a little off today and about her encounter with the trash can, obviously, but other than that Caitlin felt alright. She suspected a stomach bug, really, and that would be easily treated with some meds and a day in bed. A day that could also be used to collect herself and to find a way to deal with what Barry and she had done and how it was affecting their relationship.

In all honesty, Caitlin had no idea what she really felt. She knew that Barry had feelings for Iris, which was one of the reasons they had ended up sleeping with each other, because she had been upset about Ronnie and Barry had been heartbroken. Still, it hadn´t just been a one night stand, at least not when it came to the emotional level on which their relationship had been affected. That night wasn´t one that Caitlin could forget, not at all. Sometimes she managed not to think about it, but whenever she looked at Barry, or even at night when she lay awake and had nothing else to think about, she could feel his hands on her and remembered the way he had whispered her name over and over again, something that still made Caitlin shiver up to this day.

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn´t even noticed the doctor coming back inside, so when he spoke up, calling her name, she startled a little, looking up at him. “Yes? I´m sorry, you were saying?” she quickly asked, trying to pretend like she hadn´t been completely caught up in her thoughts.

“I was simply calling you by your name, Miss Snow.” He told her, a small smile crossing his features. “I´ve gone over the tests we´ve made and I do believe that you haven´t caught a stomach bug or a virus at all.” He then added, which only caused Caitlin to frown. She had been feeling off all day and had thrown up, what else could she have caught?

“All the symptoms you´ve described, nausea, feeling a little moody, or ‘off’, as you have described it, plus no fever or any other symptoms that would indicate a cold, to me that all sounds like you´re pregnant.”

Caitlin´s mind immediately dismissed the idea, because really, how on earth could she have gotten pregnant? It wasn´t until her brain actually caught up with her that all the color was drained from her face and within the next few seconds she was bent over the trash can in the corner of the room, because she couldn´t even remember where the bathroom was.

That couldn´t be true. She couldn´t be pregnant. She wasn´t married, not even in a relationship, and she didn´t even want to think about what Barry would say. She would have to tell him, wouldn´t she? It could only be his baby after all, but somehow that clarity wasn´t helping with the situation at all. Her thoughts were going at 100 mph as her body kept fighting the nausea that threatened to overcome her once more. There wasn´t really anything in her stomach she could throw up anymore, but that didn´t mean that she wasn´t feeling awful anymore. Soon enough Caitlin felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, finding the doctor giving her an empathetic smile as he offered her a tissue and a glass of water. She bit back a sigh as she took both, carefully taking a sip of water and wiping her mouth as she tried to get back to her feet. It felt like her whole world had been turned upside down and everything was suddenly going at half speed, as if her brain was still trying to catch up with everything and slowing down her senses in the process.  

“Of course I can´t be certain, and we don´t have an ultrasound here, but there´s a pharmacy just down the street where you can buy a pregnancy test to get some clarity until you can make an appointment with your gynaecologist.” His hand rested on her arm for a moment, as if he was trying to comfort her, and that empathetic smile was back on his face, but Caitlin couldn´t manage an adequate response. She vaguely remembered nodding when he asked her whether or not she would be alright, before finding herself on the pavement in front of the building, just standing there for a moment, almost paralysed.

She didn´t want to walk into that pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test, it simply felt wrong. She wasn´t supposed to have a child, not this way. She wasn´t married, she wasn´t even in a relationship for God´s sake! It wasn´t that she judged people who had this happen to them, but Caitlin had always thought that she would be married, married to _Ronnie_ , when she would find out that she was pregnant, and she would be happy about it, even ecstatic, not panicked and feeling like her whole world was falling apart, once again. Twice in a year was most definitely too much.

Still, Caitlin needed to know whether or not the doctor was right. She knew enough about medicine to be familiar with the symptoms of pregnancy and that what she felt, and how her body reacted, was fitting those symptoms perfectly, a pregnancy just hadn´t come to her mind at first. Of course not. That night with Barry, it was something Caitlin did her best to forget, because it had to stay a one-time thing, but right now she wasn´t quite so sure if she would ever be able to forget about it.

Caitlin bit her lip as she moved into the pharmacy then, eyes kept mostly to the ground as she moved to get one of the pregnancy tests from the shelf and quickly paid for it. Somehow she had the feeling that the pharmacist was judging her, even though he probably sold more than enough of these tests per day and really didn´t care about whom he sold them to, but Caitlin couldn´t help herself. She couldn´t remember ever being so embarrassed about anything, even though this should have been something beautiful and exciting and not something that absolutely terrified her.

She made a point to quickly leave the pharmacy, her stomach twisting at the sheer thought of having to take that test as soon as she made it home. Her thoughts were still running wild, barely leaving her room to breathe properly. Was she supposed to have this child by herself? Was she…going to have this child at all? Another terrifying thought that only slipped her mind because her phone was suddenly vibrating and Caitlin blinked for a moment before she pulled it out from her hand bag, recognizing Cisco´s number.

“Yes?”

“Caitlin? I hope you´re feeling better, because I hate to ask you this, but you might want to come back to the lab, we need you.” His voice had quite the serious tone, making her frown. Something must have happened, that was obvious, but somehow she couldn´t quite decide whether going back to the lab or going home and taking that test was worse.

“Caitlin? You still there?” Cisco´s voice pulled her from her thoughts and she took a deep breath, trying to sound as normal as possible, even though she could feel her voice wavering a little.

“Yes, yes. I´m here. I´ll be there soon.”

“I could ask Barry to get you? He´ll be there in a  sec,” Cisco then offered, hand already raised to wave Barry over before Caitlin interjected from the other end of the line.

“No! No. I´ll be fine. I´m close by.” She managed to say before hanging up, leaving Cisco a little stunned and slightly worried once again.

-

Caitlin managed to be back at the lab in less than half an hour, trying her best to not think about what had happened within the last hour. When she had gotten up this morning she had known that something was off, but that it involved a pregnancy wasn´t something Caitlin had even begun to think about. When she entered the lab she was immediately greeted by Cisco, who was holding out a tablet for her.

“Hey! Barry didn´t even have the time to tell us before you left, but someone broke into a warehouse last night and he literally broke through the steel door with his car. I know, that sounds crazy, but he froze the door, which only means one thing: Captain Cold is back,” Honestly, he sounded a little too excited about that, but Caitlin really didn´t have the time, or the headspace, to think about that. She took the tablet from him, her hands still slightly shaking, as she went through the facts.

“And he didn´t steal anything?” she asked, shaking her head. Why would he break into a warehouse that was filled with valuable cars and not steal one of them? It didn´t make any sense, at least not at first glance.

“I know right?” Cisco agreed while Caitlin moved to put her handbag on the desk and then took, off her coat before going back to go over the facts and eventually pulling up Snart´s file. “I mean, Barry´s already back, talking to Joe and Eddie, and I´ve sent Dr. Wells a message, but he hasn´t gotten back to me yet.”

Caitlin was momentarily distracted by the file, so when Cisco spoke, gesticulating with his hands as he so often did, she didn´t really pay attention, not even when he accidentally knocked over her handbag, fear clearly visible on his face since he hadn´t forgotten their encounter just an hour ago.  Not wanting to be threatened of having something thrown at him again Cisco bent down to collect the items that had fallen from the bag, wanting to apologize, as his eyes fell on the small carton that had fallen out with everything else. For a moment he frowned and picked it up, his eyes growing wide the moment he read what was written on it. _‘Easy Result Pregnancy Test’_

“Cait?” he then found himself asking, looking over at the woman, confusion clearly visible on his face.

“Yes, Cisco? I´m going through the file and…” she trailed off as her eyes caught sight of his confused expression and the carton in his hand and once again the color got drained from her face.

“I can explain.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who voted in the poll! Here comes Chapter 4! :)

Caitlin had absolutely no idea what to say. She had only just found out that she might be pregnant so she surely wasn´t ready to explain it to someone else. For a split second she considered to just tell Cisco that she had gotten the test for someone else, but even Cisco knew that Caitlin didn´t really have any female friends besides Felicity, and maybe Iris, but she wouldn´t end up buying pregnancy tests for them, so that was out of the question. It was clear that he wanted to say something, ask her about the matter, and it was also quite evident that Caitlin wouldn´t know what to say in response, but before either of them could so much as utter a word Barry was back in the room and Cisco barely had time to hide the pregnancy test behind his back before the other man could catch sight of it.

“Caitlin, you´re back.” Was the first thing Barry said with a nod, worry still clearly visible on his face and well, and this time she couldn´t even blame him, because Caitlin was sure that the color hadn´t quite returned to her face yet.

“Yes. Yes. Cisco told me that Snart is back, I was just going through his file,” she eventually managed to say, quickly glancing over to Cisco and hoping that he would manage to let the pregnancy test disappear, because while she wasn´t ready to face the talk Caitlin knew she was going to have with Cisco she surely wasn´t ready to have that talk with Barry.

“Alright, good. Or well, not. Joe and I agree that he´s after me, after the Flash. He thought that I would show up if he broke into the warehouse.” Barry nodded as he leaned against the table and looked back and forth between Cisco and Caitlin. “Cisco, Joe said we need to come up with a way to protect the police from that cold gun, you think you can do that?”

“Oh I´m sure he can,” Dr.Wells, who was just making his way into the lab, replied for the other man. “Meanwhile Barry and I are going to keep working on increasing his speed. Snart might have our cold gun, but he´s not a meta human, which means that the police will be able to handle him with the right equipment,” And well, any other time Caitlin might have protested, because Snart was still dangerous, but Barry working with Dr.Wells meant that she wouldn´t have to see him for a while, a day at least, and that was something she definitely needed now, and besides, she trusted Cisco to make sure that the police had a way to defend themselves against Snart.

-

Soon enough Barry and Dr.Wells had moved towards the treadmill, leaving Cisco to do his work, or to stare at Caitlin, which seemed much more important to him right now. She really wasn´t ready for this talk, she hadn´t even been ready for what the doctor had told her, how was she supposed to have a talk about it with someone else? Still, Caitlin could tell that Cisco wanted an answer, and this time he didn´t look as terrified as he had earlier. She momentarily considered threatening to throw something at him again, but Caitlin wasn´t actually intending to hurt him and somehow she had a feeling that, this time, Cisco wouldn’t be as easily scared.

“So…would you care to explain this? I mean…Ronnie isn´t back, is he? He still doesn´t remember you…or have you been keeping that a secret from us? Because I wouldn´t understand why. But then again, if it´s not Ronnie then I wouldn´t understand it either, because well…”  
“Cisco, please.” Caitlin sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tried to stay calm. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, or well, Caitlin knew what she _had_ to do, but she still didn´t want to take the test. “I´m just…can we not talk about this right now? I´m just…not…” she trailed off then and even Cisco could tell that Caitlin wasn´t herself today. Everything made sense now though, the mood swings, the nausea she´d been fighting off this morning, still he couldn´t come up with an explanation as to who the father could be. It was obvious that Caitlin was not feeling well though and she looked as if she was about to have a break down, so he chose not to ask any more questions. Instead Cisco moved a little closer and pressed the pregnancy test, which he had been hiding, into her hand while his free hand rested on her shoulder. “Just take the test first, okay? You don´t owe me an explanation, even if I´d love to have one,”

Caitlin looked up, meeting his eyes for a moment and suddenly it was hard to breathe. She couldn´t do this, especially not by herself, could she? What she could or couldn´t do didn´t matter though, Caitlin had learned that a while ago. After Ronnie´s death she had built up her walls to keep everyone out that hadn´t been close to her before, which had only been Cisco, really, and she had even become a little distant towards him, because suddenly she had been afraid to lose everyone and everything in her life that brought her joy. Things had changed ever since then, and she assumed that Barry was partly the reason for that change, which was also the reason she hadn´t simply gone out, gotten drunk and slept with a random guy, but part of Caitlin wished that she had. It seemed easier to deal with a pregnancy that was caused by a one night stand whose name she didn´t necessarily know rather than the way things were now, where her whole relationship with Barry, the friendship they had built up, could be ruined. There was no chance that they could ever be a happy couple, Barry was in love with Iris, Caitlin wasn´t stupid, or maybe she was, she couldn´t even tell anymore. Would a sane person have gone and gotten drunk before sleeping with one of the closest friends she had, risking to ruin what they had? It seemed like the pregnancy, if it was genuine, was the punishment for being so careless and for risking one of the only things that made her happy for a moment of desire, a moment where they could both pretend that things were alright.

Caitlin bit her lip at those thoughts, eyes directed to the ground, once again afraid that Cisco could tell what was going on with her by simply looking at her or by finding Caitlin glancing over at Barry, who was already on the treadmill, running. She held onto the pregnancy test in her hand and then moved to make her way towards the bathroom to finally take that stupid test. Maybe she wasn´t pregnant, maybe it was simply a virus or a different kind of cold, one that ended up giving you mood swings. In the end those were all excuses, and even Caitlin knew that, but they were the last straw she could cling to before completely losing her sanity.

The bathroom light was too bright and she had to close her eyes for a moment as she entered the room, hands shaking. These things were always portrayed rather dramatically in movies and TV shows, and Caitlin had always thought that they were overdoing it, but now she wasn´t quite so sure anymore. She couldn´t even quite remember how she actually took the test in the end. All she knew was that she was sitting on the toilet seat, head resting in her hands, as she waited for the test to show the result. At the beginning she had been staring at the test, but the clock symbol that was flashing and indicating that she still had to wait, was driving her insane, so Caitlin had opted for not looking at it. The wait for a result was approximately three minutes, and yet it seemed like she had been sitting here and waiting for hours to get a result, but it might have only been seconds, Caitlin couldn´t tell, and maybe she didn´t want to either.

-

Meanwhile Cisco couldn´t really concentrate on his work. He had a few ideas on how to protect the officers from Snart´s cold gun, he had built it after all, but his thoughts were focused on Caitlin, who had been in the bathroom for a good fifteen minutes now. He might have not known a lot about pregnancy, but he knew that these home tests were designed to be quick, and fifteen minutes wasn´t quick. His eyes eventually moved to where Dr.Wells and Barry were still working with the treadmill, so Cisco decided to go looking for Caitlin, just to make sure that she was okay. It seemed like the others hadn´t even noticed her absence or the fact that Cisco hadn´t gotten any work done, so a few more minutes wouldn´t hurt.

He found her in the ladies bathroom, curled up against the cabin door, shaking and crying. It wasn´t like Cisco had never seen her cry before, but this was a whole new level of something he wasn´t really good at dealing with. He had blamed himself for letting Ronnie go into the particle exhilarator, so he had forced himself to deal with the consequences and with a crying Caitlin, but this was something he had no direct connection with and yet he knew that he needed to do something.

“Caitlin…hey…” he muttered, swallowing around the lump in his throat. One glance at the pregnancy test, which had been discarded to the floor, or had fallen from Caitlin´s hands, it didn´t really matter, was enough for Cisco to know why she was nothing but a crying mess now. His arms wrapped around her in a second and soon he found her clinging to him as if her life depended on it. “It´s going to be alright…hey, come on. We´re all here for you, I promise.” Cisco added as he let her lean into his embrace, the lump in his throat getting bigger as he could feel just how much she was shaking in his arms. “Come on…you need to get some rest. We´re going to get Barry to get you home quickly and…”

He couldn´t quite manage to finish his sentence, because suddenly Caitlin pulled back, her eyes wide as she looked at him. “No. No. Barry can´t know about this, do you hear me?” Her voice was quiet and yet there was panic in it, much like the one that was showing in her eyes, and Caitlin knew that she was screwed. She could practically see how Cisco was putting two and two together in his head and how his own eyes grew wide at the realization then.

“Holy shit.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for your enjoyment, let me know what you think! :)

There were quite a few questions that Cisco wanted to ask, but he also knew that all of them were rather inappropriate, especially in a moment like this. So instead he held her for a moment longer, letting her bury her face into his chest. Cisco didn´t even worry about the tear stains that she would leave and that had might have to explain to Barry or Dr.Wells. “Hey…Cait…” he eventually whispered, holding back a sigh. “Come on…we´re going to get you home. I know you´re not…on top of your game right now, but you can´t just keep sitting here, I´m going to run out of excuses eventually and something tells me that you don´t want to explain this to either Barry or Dr.Wells,”

At his words Caitlin pulled back a little, eyes red and puffy, nodding. She knew that there was no way that she could face Barry now. He would demand an explanation and she wasn´t ready for that. She wasn´t even sure what she was supposed to feel right now, or what she was feeling, all she knew was that she was screwed, in more than one way. “Y-Yes…” she finally managed, somehow getting to her feet with Cisco´s help. Caitlin glanced back down at the floor for a moment and her stomach began to twist again. For a split second she thought she would end up with her head over the toilet again, but there was really nothing she could throw up anymore. “Can you…just…get rid off that?” she then asked, biting her lip as she met Cisco´s eyes, who simply nodded. Caitlin really didn´t want to see that test anymore and she trusted Cisco to hide it well enough for no one to find it.

“Of course. Come on…I´ll drive you home,” he then told her, bending down to pick up the pregnancy test from the floor.

“No…no. I´m going to walk home. I need some air. Besides, you have to figure out a way to protect the CCPD against Snart. I´m not going to let my personal problems endanger people´s lives.” She shook her head, trying to straighten her clothes and then moved to let go off him so she could fix her make up as best as it was possible right now.

Cisco wanted to protest, because he didn´t really have the best feeling about letting her walk home all by herself, but he also knew that she was right and that Caitlin wouldn´t let him protest, besides arguing would only take time away from finding out a way to defeat Snart and they really couldn´t afford that. “Alright, but you have to promise to send me a text when you get home.”

-

The rest of the day wasn´t much more than a blur for Caitlin. She took way longer to get home than she usually would have, but somehow she made it to her apartment without having a breakdown. She remembered to send Cisco a text too, but only because she knew he would keep calling her to make sure that she was okay if she didn´t, and while she appreciated his concern Caitlin really didn´t want to deal with that. Actually, she didn´t want to deal with anything right now, which was also the reason she simply curled up under her blanket, trying to block out the rest of the world.  
Meanwhile Cisco hadn´t even needed to explain why Caitlin had left again, because Dr.Wells and Barry were still busy working on Barry´s speed. That had given him more time to work on something to be resistant against the cold gun that Snart was carrying around with him, but still, it took him another few hours to build a prototype of what would be a shield that could be used to defend the police officers against Snart by using a heat technology which melted the ice, making the cold gun useless. He might have been able to build it a little faster, but Cisco couldn´t help but be a little distracted by his worries about Caitlin. He had refrained from texting her again though, because Cisco knew her well enough to know that she needed some time to herself and probably had other things to worry about other than answering his texts. Besides, he needed to get to the CCPD and explain the shield to them and it seemed like Dr.Wells wanted to join him. He was done working with Barry today, they had spent a good five hours on the tread mill anyways, and it was obvious that he was satisfied with the outcome.

-

Barry had pulled himself back from the Snart case, mostly because of what had happened the last time and because they wouldn´t need him for this. Joe and Eddie would be just fine with what Cisco had developed for them and well, he had new priorities now. Still, now that he was done with his training for the day he found himself at a loss of things to do. Usually he had no time for things other than work or sleep, despite his speed, and well sometimes he ended up going to Jitters to speak with Iris, but ever since he had confessed his feelings for her things had been a little awkward.

So for a while Barry found himself at a loss of things to do now that there was no one in immediate danger and neither Cisco not Caitlin were there to tell him if anyone reported any crimes. _Caitlin_. He had been meaning to talk to her for a while, ever since they had spent that particular night together actually, but it was evident that she didn´t feel the same way, so he had tried his best to act normal, though that had proven to be rather difficult. Caitlin was special, he had noticed that the moment he had met her, and a night with her wasn´t something that was easily forgotten. He knew he shouldn´t have given in back then, she had been drunk and he had been hurt, but there had been something about her, something so irresistible, and maybe Barry had thought that it would be nice to be able to forget his heartbreak and pain for a little while. He hadn´t thought about the consequences though, neither of them had.

Still, they needed to talk about this eventually, make things less awkward, because he had already lost Iris and Barry wasn´t sure if he could deal with losing Caitlin too. That might have also been the reason why he found himself at her door eventually, a hand raised to knock. He figured that she had gone home due to her sickness, because she hadn´t been at the lab when Cisco and Dr.Wells had left for the CCPD. He wasn´t sure if she would open up, or want to talk to him, especially when she wasn´t feeling well, but Barry had to try at least.

Caitlin had spent the last few hours hiding under her blanket, but sleep wasn´t something she had been graced with. Now she actually wished that she would have been asleep though, because when she heard the knock on the door she immediately knew that it could only be one person. Cisco wouldn´t come to her place, not today, he was probably still busy with the CCPD anyway, which also ruled out Dr.Wells, and well, and not many other people knew where she lived. For a moment she considered to just ignore him, because now was really not a good time to talk, but just leaving him standing out there was quite impolite, very much so, and somehow Caitlin had a feeling that he wouldn´t go away.

She rolled herself out of bed then, a quick look in the mirror telling her that she looked positively miserable. Caitlin most definitely needed a shower, or a general make over, but sadly there was no time for that. She moved over to the door then, leaning against it for a moment as she turned the key in the lock. “Come in…I´ll be right back,” she then told him before quickly disappearing into the bathroom. Alright, maybe it wasn´t the best idea to ask someone to come in and then make them wait while you took a shower, but there was no way Caitlin was facing him the way she looked right now. It was enough that she felt awful, she didn´t need to look the way she felt inside.

The shower should have been refreshing, and up to a certain degree it was, but as Caitlin stepped out of it and dried herself off to dress herself appropriately again she caught a look of herself in the mirror once more. This time, wearing nothing but her underwear, her stomach was exposed though and she stopped. For a moment it was hard to breathe and she could feel her stomach churning at the simple image of herself the way she looked now. If she kept that baby she wouldn´t be looking like this for long, soon enough she would start showing and then there would be no way to hide the fact that she was pregnant. Caitlin bit her lip, hands coming to rest on her stomach. How was she ever going to deal with this?

She wasn´t even quite sure how long she had been standing there, but it had probably been a while, because the knock on the door that came startled her. “Caitlin? Are you alright?” Barry´s voice sounded concerned and that might have also been the reason why he opened the door and peeked inside just a moment after.

He should have expected her not to be wearing much, honestly, but his concern had taken over, especially since he had heard the shower being turned off about fifteen minutes ago. Now that Barry caught sight of her in nothing but her underwear he stood frozen for a moment, much like Caitlin, before he managed to quickly stumbled backwards and out of the bathroom, his cheeks tainted red.

“I´m…wow. I´m sorry. I didn´t…I just…” he mumbled only to find Caitlin pushing past him and out of the bathroom, now dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“You´ve seen me naked, Barry.” She then reminded him, sounding more defensive than she had intended to. It had been a long day.

“Yeah…listen. I wanted to talk to you about that. Well. Not about the fact that I´ve seen you naked, obviously. But you know, about…what came with that.”

There was really never going to be a right time to talk about this, Caitlin knew that, and the further they pushed this away the worse it would get. She couldn´t possibly have both of the talks they needed to have on the same day though, she wasn´t even sure if she would make it through the first one.

“Look…Barry.” Caitlin then told him with a sigh, trying to find the right words to start off this conversation. Nothing was making sense though, on any other day she might have been at least a little more prepared for this, but today really wasn´t that day. Fortunately, or not depending on how you saw things, Barry´s phone interrupted them, and while he considered not answering it he found the caller ID to be Joe´s and he usually only called when something important was going on.

“You should take it,” Caitlin then reassured him with a nod at the phone, though it was really just a way out of this talk for her. When Barry picked up the phone though and she saw the worry and concern, which had been the same for her just a few minutes ago, return she frowned, feeling her stomach drop.

“Barry? What´s wrong?” she found herself asking, taking a step closer to him. Something was obviously wrong.

“It´s…it´s Joe. And the officers at the CCPD…they were attacked. Snart wasn´t alone.” The worry was clearly still etched into his face as he spoke and for a moment their own worries were forgotten. “Look. I gotta go…make sure Joe´s okay, and Eddie too. But we´ll finish this talk, I promise.”

Caitlin was barely able to nod before Barry was gone leaving her alone with nothing but her hair in a mess and some papers, which had been placed on the drawer, now scattered on the floor.

Caitlin couldn´t bring herself to care.


	6. Chapter 6

Barry didn´t return that night. Something important must have come up, or so Caitlin had figured, but she hadn´t really thought that calling him would be a good idea, especially if he was busy. She had ended up texting Cisco then and in the end she wished she hadn´t, because when he told her that Snart wasn´t working alone anymore, and that many officers had been hurt, Caitlin hadn´t been able to sleep anymore and sleep had been something she would have really needed. She must have fallen asleep eventually though, because when her alarm clock went off she blinked her eyes open against the rays of sunshine that were falling in through the windows.

For a moment Caitlin sincerely hoped that she had dreamed up yesterday, that it had been nothing but a product of her mind to maybe force her to talk to Barry so they could stop being awkward around each other, but something was telling her that it was simply wishful thinking. She would have also liked to stay in bed today, but Caitlin was too much of a workaholic to do that and even if she had to face Barry and Cisco at work she had to admit that it sounded less scary than to be alone with her thoughts for the rest of the day.

That was mainly the reason she made her way to S.T.A.R labs after taking another shower, and purposely avoiding her reflection in the mirror, where she was greeted by Dr.Wells and Cisco. Neither of them looked particularly thrilled and Caitlin assumed that it had to do with the events of the previous night. Cisco probably blamed himself, even though he couldn´t have predicted that Snart would show up with someone else, much less with someone who was running rampant with a heat gun. That was, by the way, too much of a coincidence for Caitlin, but they really didn´t have time to worry about where that gun had come from, and whether or not Snart had found someone with a gun that matched his or if that guy had found him. What they needed to do was find a way to stop them both.

“Caitlin.” Cisco´s face lit up a little when he saw her and she suspected that he was simply glad that she was okay again, or not on the verge of breaking down anymore. Dr.Wells on the other hand seemed like nothing could lighten up his mood today and it mainly had to do with the talk he´d been having with Barry not too long ago, but Caitlin didn´t know about that. Her eyes met with Cisco´s for a moment, letting him know that she was okay for the time being, before moving over to the desk and sitting down.

“Alright. Would anyone like to fully update me?”

-

They took a couple of hours to discuss whether or not it would make sense to develop another shield against the heat gun or not and what else they could do to stop Snart and his associate. Time was ticking away while Snart and Mick Rory were out there, but they couldn´t risk being sloppy and missing something important. They needed to make sure that no one else got hurt, whether it was an officer or one of them. Caitlin tried her best not to think about Barry getting hurt, since Snart was obviously after him, because she really wasn´t sure if she was emotionally stable enough for that. She had gotten lost in her thoughts eventually, so when Cisco placed a sandwich in front of her she blinked, looking up at him.

“When´s the last time that you´ve eaten?” His words struck her and suddenly Caitlin felt bad, because the last thing she had tried to eat had been the cheesecake yesterday, and while that wouldn´t have been too bad if it had just been her she knew that now someone else involved, someone who was about as tiny as a sesame seed, but still. She bit her lip as her eyes met with Cisco´s and she picked up the sandwich then, taking a bite.

“Thank you,” Caitlin then managed, holding back a sigh. She hadn´t even realized that Cisco had been gone, or that Dr.Wells wasn´t in the room anymore. She had been lost in her thoughts, trying to find a way to stop Snart, because while meta humans were scary he was even worse. He had been the only one who had managed to escape them, despite being simply human, and also someone who was after Barry specifically. Barry. He hadn´t shown up at the lab either which, on one hand, was a good things because it meant that she could avoid talking to him, but on the other hand it meant that he was out there and could be attacked by Snart any minute. It had been quiet up until now though, but that could also mean that Snart was planning something, and now Caitlin let the sigh escape her lips, because no matter from what perspective you looked at the situation, it just wasn´t getting any better.  

“You know what you should do?” Cisco then asked, leaning against the desk and looking back at his friend. “You should make a doctor´s appointment. These tests can always be wrong. And if it wasn´t…well then you can at least be completely sure.” He hadn´t slept much that night either. His worries about Caitlin had mixed with the news he had gotten from Barry about Snart and the guy he had attacked with. He couldn´t help but blame himself, even though that was a factor none of them could have calculated. Now they could only do their best to develop a plan to work against the two criminals though and it wouldn´t help to dwell on past events.

Of course Caitlin knew that Cisco was right. She had been thinking of making an appointment with her gynaecologist, and while that was just one phone call away it would also make everything even more real. Caitlin would have to face it anyway though, and something was telling her that Cisco wouldn´t stop bugging her about it either. She knew that he was only worrying about her though, so she couldn´t even be upset with him. “Yeah…I will, I promise.”

-

This week had been cursed, Barry was sure of it. Surely, there were bad days every now and then but this time people he cared about had gotten hurt because he had been convinced that he wasn´t needed in this case. He had put his own desire for revenge before the needs of people he worked with, his friends, and now they were hurt. He knew that Joe wasn´t upset with him, mainly because the older man knew just how much Barry wanted to catch the man who had killed his mother and blamed the murder on his father, and still he had warned Barry about letting this distract him from where he was really needed. Then there was Caitlin, who he still needed to talk to and with whom things were still awkward, even if that was the last thing that Barry wanted. He cared about her a great deal and the night they had spent together might have been a mistake, but still he couldn´t forget just how it had felt to pin her to the bed and to hear her whisper his name over and over again. It hadn´t simply been about sex or forgetting Iris in that moment. It had been about a connection between the two of them that had always been there somehow and that they had simply ignored in favour of working together and not messing things up.

Somehow Barry had a feeling that things were pretty messed up right now though and he hated that he hadn´t found a way to fix them yet, especially since it seemed like there was always something that was coming in between him and his plans, whether it was another criminal or himself or Caitlin, who simply didn´t think this to be the right time for a talk. He promised himself that he would return to S.T.A.R labs once his work at the CCPD was done for the day and that he would finish the talk they had to interrupt last night though, it was about time.

-

Caitlin had gotten one of the last appointments of the day and while part of her was glad that she would at least get clarity now, actual clarity, another part of her didn´t even want to go near that doctor´s office. It felt like everyone in the waiting room, and the doctor herself, could tell that she wasn´t feeling well, that this wasn´t a happily married woman who would be overjoyed about the fact that she was pregnant. Caitlin hated the look her doctor, who knew her well enough by now, gave her when she encircled the small embryo on the ultrasound. It was a look of pity that almost made Caitlin want to throw up, but she managed to hold herself together, because throwing up once in a doctor´s office in one day was most definitely enough.

When she got out eventually, with a bunch of pamphlets and papers in her bag, Caitlin somehow ended up standing on the pavement in front of the building a little longer than anticipated. She simply hadn´t been able to get her legs to move and she hadn´t even noticed the looks people had given her. This was it. Her life was about to change drastically, no matter what she decided for herself and the baby, and the proof of that was right there, in her bag, and it felt like it weighed her down heavily.

It was long dark when Caitlin finally moved towards the parking lot to get her car, phone beeping in the pocket of her coat. She pulled it out along with her car keys, but she barely managed to so much as read the first few words before she heard a noise and suddenly her entire car door was frozen, much like Caitlin herself was frozen in her movements for a moment.  
“Car trouble?” A rather familiar voice then asked and Caitlin turned around slowly only to be faced with Snart and the man that Cisco had dubbed _Heat Wave_. She didn´t even manage to scream before she was grabbed, her phone falling to the ground with the screen cracking.

**_From: Barry, 7.36pm_ **

_Cisco said you went to see the doctor again. Can I still come by? I really need to see you. -Barry_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, you´ve all voted a certain way for the pregnancy to be revealed, and we´re getting there! Thanks for voting and enjoy the chapter! :)

In retrospective Barry should have been more worried about Caitlin not replying to his text that night, but things had been awkward between them, and their somewhat talk yesterday hadn´t really helped the situation, so he had made a point to talk to her once they saw each other at the lab the next morning. Surely he hadn´t known that Caitlin wouldn´t be able to show up to work then and that it had nothing to do with her illness this time, so for the night Barry decided to pay Joe a visit before taking a long run through the city, trying to escape his own thoughts, though he had to admit that there were things even he couldn´t outrun.

-

When Caitlin woke up she found herself tied to a chair, hands behind her back, without the possibility of moving so much as an inch. She instantly began to panic, trying to figure out whether or not she was hurt and if it could have affected the baby. She couldn´t really feel any pain though, and the last thing she remembered was seeing Snart and his companion, so she figured she must have passed out eventually. It felt like she was alright, apart from the fact that she was tied to a chair of course, so with a deep breath Caitlin managed to calm down a little, or at least enough to not stumble headfirst into a panic attack.

She blinked a few times then before looking around. The chair she was tied to was standing on some sort of platform, but the rest of the room, which looked more like a storage facility if she thought about it, was filled with all kinds of things that looked like they hadn´t been used a while. Caitlin couldn´t see much, really, but she knew that she needed to find a way to get out of this. They had taken her for a reason and she couldn´t risk Barry running into his doom just to save her. She couldn’t lose someone else she cared about, Caitlin would rather die herself than to go through that again.

A moment later she suddenly heard footsteps and a voice that startled her, still she tried her best to stay calm. “Well well. Look who´s awake,”

-

When Barry had been awoken by a phone call from Joe the next morning he hadn´t thought much to it. The other man called him out of work to check up on him sometimes and Barry suspected that the older man must have noticed that something had been wrong with him last night, so he smiled, despite the fact that it was 6.30 in the morning and he would have been able to sleep for a little while longer.

“Yeah?”

The smile fell from his face the second he heard what Joe was telling him though. Barry couldn´t believe that he had been naïve enough to think that Caitlin simply hadn´t wanted to talk to him. He should have gone to her place anyway, to at least check up on her. Snart was after him, that was for sure, and he had already figured out that the easiest way to get to Barry was to hurt the people he cared about.

He was in the parking lot within seconds then, the worried look on Joe´s face being the first thing he caught sight of before his eyes fell on the frozen car door. It was obvious that this was Snart´s work and still they would need to take the evidence and bring it back to the office to make it an official case.

“We´re already looking for her,” Joe told him, not even bothering to greet him. He knew that, while Caitlin probably wasn´t in immediate danger since Snart obviously wanted Barry, it was also obvious that she was still held captive somewhere and he considered her a friend, so Joe wanted to make sure she would be safe again as soon as possible. Besides, taking one look at Barry, he could tell just how worried he was and that look of pain and worry had never been something Joe had been able to deal with, neither with him nor with Iris. “We´ve found her phone on the ground next to the door, seems like she was texting someone, or was about to text someone when they appeared,”

Barry felt his stomach twist at the other man´s words. Caitlin had been about to text him back when Snart had gotten her. If he had just texted her earlier then he would have maybe been with her, or at least worried when she wouldn´t have shown up, but this way she had been with those two crazy criminals the entire night already and Barry knew more than anyone what Snart was capable of doing if he wanted to achieve something. He didn´t care if any lives were lost, he had derailed an entire train with hundreds of people in it simply for his amusement and to showcase Barry´s weakness. One simple life, Caitlin´s life, didn´t matter to him at all.

It mattered to Barry though. He couldn´t lose her. The simple thought of walking into the lab without seeing her smile every day made his heart hurt and his stomach twist in a way that had him almost throwing up into the nearest trash can. He knew that Joe could practically read his mind, because soon enough there was a hand on his shoulder and Barry nodded.

“We´re going to find her, we have to. We´re gonna find Snart.”

“Damn right we do. Come on.”

-

Snart´s plan was obvious, even to Caitlin. Surely, she didn´t know the details but the moment they had taken her she had known that they wanted to use her to get to Barry. Snart wasn´t stupid. He knew that getting Barry, or the Flash for that matter, would work best through hurting someone he cared about and while they could have taken any of the people he had seen The Flash interact with that day she assumed that she might have been an easy target walking around town like that, not paying attention.

Caitlin had gotten so careful ever since the explosion, careful to not let anyone close but also careful with herself, and she hated that this whole thing had thrown her so off track. Surely, Barry played a part in that as well, but even if her feelings for him were a little complicated she knew that she would have been more careful without the whole baby drama. She bit her lip at that thought, glancing down to her stomach almost involuntarily. Caitlin felt the need to cover it with her hands, to protect the baby that was growing inside of her, even if it was only about as big as a sesame seed now, but she couldn´t move her hands.

When she heard the steps of someone approaching her once more she bit her lip, trying her best to stay composed. It wasn´t Snart who had come to kneel beside her chair though, it was the other guy, Mick Rory if she remembered correctly, that had been with Snart when they had attacked the officers yesterday and left most of them severely injured. He was dangerous, there was no doubt about that and Caitlin couldn´t help but shudder at the wild look in his eyes. He wasn´t one to mess with, and neither was Snart, that was for sure.

Caitlin held her breath for a moment as she watched him pull out a lighter, waving it in front of her, the flame dangerously close to her face.

“You´re a friend of his, aren´t you? He´s fast…like fire,” There was a grin on the man´s face, one that sent another shiver down Caitlin´s spine. It didn´t really help that he held his bare hand over the flame then, letting it touch and burn the inside of his hand.

“You´re sick.” Caitlin pressed out, eyes travelling over the burns on his arms and shoulders. They were third degree burns and they couldn´t have been easy to bear, especially since they seemed to not have been treated properly.

Once he caught sight of what he was looking at, his grin got a little wider. “Maybe you´re the sick ones, ever thought about that? The fire…it´s beautiful, and it helped me reveal my true self. I wonder what the Flash will reveal when I burn his suit and skin right off…”

Caitlin´s stomach twisted at the thought and her jaw clenched as she tried pulling on the ties that kept her on the chair. “Do whatever you want to me, but leave him alone,” she then gritted through her teeth, only causing the man to chuckle.

“Oh…you and this Flash must be really close if you´re willing to die for him,” he grinned, moving to reach for the fire gun he had left on the floor next to himself for the time being. “I wonder what he´ll say if he´ll see your true self? I could help you with that, that could be fun,”

The noise that the gun made when it was turned on and ready to fire had Caitlin´s stomach drop and she forced herself to not close her eyes as he aimed the gun at her.

“Mick, control yourself.” Snart´s voice rang through the warehouse as he appeared from behind one of the cupboards. “We need her, for now.” He then added, a grin on his face, and Caitlin tried her best to keep her shaking hands under control. She needed to find a way out of here.

-

Meanwhile Barry and Joe had returned to the CCPD and Cisco had joined them too, his worry about Caitlin clearly evident on his face. It wasn’t exactly helping that he knew more about her situation than anyone in this building either, so he found himself standing next to the two men and Eddie, who had been waiting for them, shuffling from one foot to another.

“We need to get her back, Barry.” He eventually managed, his eyes finding the other man´s and Barry nodded.

“Of course. We´ll find her, Cisco. I promise. We´re already…” He didn´t quite make it through the whole sentence though, but was instead interrupted by Captain Singh, who came storming out of his office, pointing at the TV that was positioned just a little above them. It was usually showing the latest news, but it seemed like Snart had managed to hack himself into the system somehow.

“Joe, Thawne. It´s on every station,”

“Greetings citizens of Central City, my name is Leonard Snart, but you can call me Cold.”

He was looking straight into the camera, talking to them, but what caught Barry´s attention wasn´t the man who was speaking, but Caitlin, who was in the background, tied to a chair, with Mick Rory holding the fire gun to her head. She was writhing around, trying to break free, only stopping when the gun was suddenly activated, ready to literally set her on fire. Barry felt like his heart stopped for a moment, hands balling up into fists as he tried to stay calm.

“I´m going to make this very simple for everyone: That Red Streak you´ve been hearing whispers about, the one mysteriously saving people these last few months, well surprise: He´s real.” Snart continued and while Barry heard every word he spoke his eyes were still fixed on Caitlin, who had stopped moving entirely by now, fear clearly visible in her eyes. “Calls himself… _The Flash_. Port and Maine, tonight, sundown. Come out come out, wherever you are. Show the whole world you´re real, or this woman dies,” There was a certain smirk on his lips as he glanced back at Caitlin and Mick, who was still holding the gun to her head.

“I think she wants to say something,” He then grinned and Snart moved out of the way for a moment, pushing the camera closer towards Caitlin, whose eyes were filled with tears. She knew there was only one thing she needed to say, only so much time she had, and this was the most important thing, because she couldn´t risk Barry coming for her and endangering other people´s lives should he not do what Snart was telling him to.

“Cisco.” She managed, barely holding back the tears, “Cisco, whatever happens: Don´t tell him, please,”

The last word was almost cut off as the screen went black, leaving the whole CCPD office lost for words.


	8. Chapter 8

For a moment it was completely and utterly silent at the office, whether it was because no one knew what to say or simply didn´t dare to speak up. Not that it really mattered though, what mattered was that two borderline insane criminals had taken someone hostage and demanded for _the Flash_ to come and face them. Surely, there had been rumours and sightings of what had been called _‘The Red Streak’_ up until now, but there was no proof that he actually existed and that meant that the CCPD had no way to reach out to him or to contact him. Or at least that was what Captain Singh thought. Joe and Barry obviously knew that there was no way that he wouldn´t go to meet the two criminals, he needed to make sure that Caitlin was okay. He couldn´t stand the thought of her getting hurt in any way, and thinking that he could lose her, especially on the terms they were on now, was not something that Barry found himself dealing with very well.

His eyes found Joe´s a moment later, who simply nodded, and just a moment later it seemed like chaos was erupting in the office with everyone talking and trying to come up with a solution while Captain Singh tried to keep his men in order. Barry though had long grabbed Cisco and was running back to S.T.A.R Labs.

When they arrived there, Cisco still stood about as frozen as he had when they had left the office, despite the rapid movement and Barry, who was waving his hand in front of Cisco´s face.

_Whatever happens: Don´t tell him._

Of course he knew just what Caitlin had been talking about, and he knew exactly why she didn´t want Barry to know, but how was he supposed to keep this a secret when she was in danger? Surely, there were better ways of telling someone that you were pregnant, and Caitlin knew as much as Cisco that, if Barry would hear about the circumstances, he wouldn´t go to meet Snart and his partner, but instead he would do anything to find Caitlin and put the rest of the city in danger with that.

“Cisco? You okay man?” Barry´s words pulled him from his frozen state and his brain was working just enough to get him to nod.

“Yeah…well. I mean…as okay as I can be.” He then managed, eyes briefly meeting with Barry´s. It wasn´t like Cisco was a bad liar, quite the opposite actually. He could be a brilliant liar and secret keeper, but the problem here was that part of him wanted to save Caitlin more than anything. The moment he had heard that she had never made it home yesterday he had felt guilty, even though Cisco was intelligent enough to know that none of this was his fault.  
Still, he wondered if he would have been able to do something if he had gone to that appointment with her. If he could have persuaded them to take him instead of her. The _‘what ifs’_ were killing him and there was nothing he could do about it.

“What did Caitlin mean when she said ‘don´t tell him’?” Barry´s voice pulled Cisco from his thoughts once more and he was glad that he didn´t just freeze up again.

“I…well. It´s obviously something private,” he then found himself saying. “Look…it´s…it´s something about Ronnie. Caitlin and I…we´ve come up with this code, ever since the explosion, should either of us be in danger of…not returning, or not making it out of a situation alive.” Thinking about it now, that wasn´t such a bad idea to give a thought, and it sounded plausible, at least to him. Cisco wasn´t quite sure if it was just as plausible for Barry, though he wasn´t going to find out, because Dr.Wells decided to move into the lab just in that moment and Cisco had to admit that he was thankful for it, because they didn´t really have time to dwell on this any longer, not if they wanted to catch Snart and Rory and find Caitlin.

“Alright,” his tone was urgent and yet hopeful, because so far they had always managed to get out of every situation alive and they wouldn´t start losing to the villains now. “We need to find a way to eliminate their guns, because they´re not going to give them up easily. It´s what makes them dangerous after all. Once we´ve figured that out we´re going to track down Caitlin.”

“Can´t we track her down now?” Barry interjected, his eyes clearly showing the worry and impatience about the situation they had found themselves in.

“We could, yes. But Snart and Rory will be there, I can assure you. And we´ve got a better chance of getting her out there when they´re gone to meet you. Cisco and Joe will take care of that once we´ve figured out how to eliminate the guns,”  
Of course Barry knew that Dr.Wells was right, so he refrained from responding in any way, his shoulders slouching as he bit back a sigh, knowing that he would have to let them do their work if they all wanted to get out of this unharmed.

-

Caitlin was having a hard time concentrating. She couldn´t quite tell just how long she had been tied to that chair, but her wrists were starting to hurt just where the ties were cutting into her skin and she couldn´t remember the last time she had ever so much as drank a sip of water. The last thing Caitlin had eaten had been the sandwich Cisco had gotten her yesterday and while she couldn´t tell what time it was it felt like she had been stuck here for an eternity already. The lack of food and water, going hand in hand with the dehydration she knew she would be suffering from, and the stress she was under couldn´t be good for the baby. There was another sudden urge to cross her arms in front of her stomach to protect the child she was carrying, but her hands were still tied behind her back and even the slightest move had her wincing from the pain.

“You better hope this Flash guy shows up,” Mick´s voice came from the back of the room and Caitlin stiffened immediately. “Not that he´s gonna make it through this, but if he doesn´t show up we ain´t gonna be gentle with you. Gotta prove we´re serious, after all,” his words were followed by a chuckle and Caitlin was trying her best to keep it together. She had faith in Barry, of course she had. She had told him that she believed in him, and Caitlin only ever stated facts. Still, she had spent longer than she had wanted with these two criminals and she knew that they were willing to kill and to die for what they wanted, and that was never a good thing.

“We´ll see you later, darling.” The chuckle was back as his hand grazed her cheek, making Caitlin pull back as far as possible. Another chuckle then, which was only interrupted by Snart, yelling for Mick to hurry up.

“Please…please, please. Be okay…”  
-

It was impossible to get the two man to cross their beams so they would end up neutralizing each other´s weapons. Barry had tried over and over again, and while he was sure that they hadn´t just caught on with what he was trying to do, they somehow managed to still miss the other´s beam every time, no matter how hard Barry tried. He had been thrown to the ground or into cars and the walls of several buildings, but it seemed like they hadn´t even suffered a single blow. They were playing him, and they were good at playing him, something that frustrated Barry to no end. There had to be a way, hadn´t there? He couldn´t simply give up and let them win, he just couldn´t.

Meanwhile Joe and Cisco had made their way to the outskirts of town, finding themselves in an industrial area with nothing but Warehouses all around.  “And you´re certain she´s here?” Joe asked, gun already drawn as they made their way through the night, looking around.

“Yeah, hundred percent sure. When we were working on the particle accelerator Dr.Wells was very cautious. He was worried that someone would steal his technology, or try to kidnap him or one of us to get it, which is why he gave all of us watches with a GPS installed so we could be tracked. They were more efficient than cell phones, because those are more easily lost, like in our case.” He nodded, eyes directed onto the tablet he was carrying. They were connected with Dr.Wells and Barry over an earpiece, hearing everything that was going down in the city and while hope wasn´t completely lost he knew that things were tough, which meant there was all the more reason to save Caitlin. “Alright…there´s only one warehouse which had its heat turned on for the last couple of nights, right over there!”

Cisco pointed into the direction of a warehouse, and Joe nodded, ready to move over when a loud _‘bang’_ and the shattering of glass had them stop in their tracks.

“Barry? Barry, are you okay?” Dr.Wells voice was more concerned than ever, and considering the groan that came from Barry, he had every right to be concerned.

“It´s impossible…I can´t get them to cross their beams…” Barry sounded exhausted, his breath was going rapidly and Cisco didn´t even want to imagine how he looked. “My speed is useless…I can´t…someone else has to…I can´t…” his voice was trailing off slowly and when Cisco looked up to meet Joe´s eyes the older man looked just as worried and helpless as himself.

“Barry, you can´t give up. You have to try again!” Dr.Wells wasn´t about to give up on this, most certainly not, and it wasn´t like Barry wanted to just let Snart and Rory win and endanger the whole city, but he was at his wits end.

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying his best to calm down, when he suddenly heard Cisco´s voice in his ear. “Barry? Barry, you can´t give up!”  
“Thanks for telling me, I know that.” He let out a groan, half caused by frustration and half caused by pain.

“No…I mean you can´t. Think about Caitlin, you and her…you have unfinished business and I´m not keen on losing either of you,” For a moment there was a silence, only interrupted by the cold gun, who froze the car Barry had been hiding behind.

“What do you know about our unfinished business?”

“More than you. Look…you have to do this, Barry. Remember when I said that _‘whatever happens: Don´t tell him,’_ was a code for something? Well that was a lie. Or well…not exactly, but it wasn´t the code I told you it was. The reason you have to do this, and man Caitlin is going to kill me if we all make it out of here alive...“

“Cisco! I´m kind of having a situation here!”

“Yes. I´m sorry…the reason you can´t give up…is that…she´s pregnant.”


	9. Chapter 9

It took Barry a moment to process that information. Of course he hadn´t forgotten about the night they had spent together, how could he? But still it wasn´t the first thing that came to his mind, especially not when he had two criminals at his heels who were out for his life. Still. For a moment he was almost paralysed as his brain was slowly catching up with the situation he suddenly found himself in. Caitlin hadn´t been going out with any other men, there was no time for that anyways, and even if there had been another man she was too careful to not use protection when it came to sleeping with him. _Unless she´s drunk._ The evidence was clear, much like the fact that Snart and Rory were closing in on him, but Barry couldn´t quite get his body to function right.

“Barry? Barry?! Are you still there?” Dr.Well´s voice brought him back from his paralysed state and he barely managed a ‘Yeah’ as a response. “I know this…a rather surprising development, but you can´t let anything distract you right now. Not if you want to stop Snart and Rory and save Caitlin.”

Dr.Wells was right, much like he usually was. Caitlin was still alone and tied to a chair somewhere and she had been for a while. That surely couldn´t be good for a pregnant woman. The guilt slowly crept up on him again then and Barry wondered if he could have saved her from this mess. If they had simply talked it out earlier, if they hadn´t done this weird dance around each other just because things had gotten awkward and because they had both been scared of the outcome. Now things were even more messed up though and Barry simply hoped that Cisco and Joe would find Caitlin soon and that she would be okay. He also knew that he had to find a way to get Snart and Rory to cross their beams so he could get them locked up and check on Caitlin himself. He knew that all the awkwardness would be forgotten, at least for the moment, and while it might just get worse afterwards Barry just needed to know that she was okay.

“We´re playin’  hide and seek now, Flash? Come out, come out or we´ll start shootin’ the civilians,”

-

“Alright. I have a bunch of questions, but there´s a pregnant woman who needs to be rescued, so those will have to wait a while,” Joe said, shooting Cisco a look before pulling out his gun, just to be safe, as he made his way to the ware house in which they suspected Caitlin. Cisco had simply stood there for a moment, waiting for any sort of reaction from Barry. He knew that Caitlin would kill him if Barry abandoned Snart and Rory to come and save her, and he had made a promise to her, but what else could he have done? Without this information Barry would have probably been dead by now, and while Cisco himself wasn´t really keen on dying himself he would rather take a beating from Caitlin than for his best friend to have a baby whose father was dead. Not that he wanted to think about any of his friends dying, which was also why he quickly moved to follow Joe, glad that the older man didn´t want to talk about this whole mess right now. Caitlin was definitely more important than any questions Joe had, though Cisco wasn´t quite sure if he could even answer them. It had barely been a day since he had found out himself and he wasn´t sure if he could really explain anything to Joe. The most important thing was that they found Caitlin now though, because without her safe and sound there wouldn´t even be anything to tell.

They entered the ware house a minute later, Joe with his gun pulled as he moved in first to make sure that the two criminals hadn´t set anything up to have them fall into a trap. He couldn´t risk anyone getting hurt in this, especially not Cisco or Caitlin. Once Joe was sure that there was no other person that could be potentially harmful to them though around he began to search the ware house.

“Caitlin? Caitlin? Are you there?” Cisco really couldn´t wait any longer, and he had figured that, if there would have been someone else in here, they would have come at them already, besides he had seen Joe relax a little bit, even if his gun was still ready to shoot whomever would dare to come out and attack them.

There was no sound coming from anywhere in the ware house though and so they simply moved around to see whether or not they would be able to find Caitlin or if they had been completely wrong with their assumptions of her whereabouts. God. Cisco sincerely hoped that they hadn´t been.

-

Barry had come out of his hiding place behind the car, which was completely frozen over right now. He knew that he needed to be fast, no pun intended, to make sure that no one got hurt and that Caitlin was alright. He couldn´t risk losing a single second, especially not when she had been tied to that chair for over a day already. He carefully eyed Snart and Rory then, his hand touching the ear piece so he would be able to talk to Dr.Wells. “We gotta be fast.”

“Or not.” Dr.Wells answer surprised Barry and he frowned, his eyes still trained on the two criminals who were sporting an almost sickening grin. “The way to getting them to cross their beams is not by going faster.”

Barry needed a moment to process the information and he blinked a few times then, doing his best to push Caitlin out of his mind for a moment, because the faster he ended things here the quicker he would be able to be by her side. After a few seconds it seemed to click in his mind and he nodded, taking a deep breath. “It´s going slower.”

-

Caitlin must have nearly passed out after a while, because she couldn´t remember much of the last few minutes, or however much time had passed, it was all rather blurry, so when she heard her name being called it took her a moment to realize that she wasn´t dreaming, and another one to recognize Cisco´s voice. When she did though, Caitlin blinked her eyes open and even though she had trouble to even so much as move her head she knew that she had to make some sort of noise to let Cisco know that she was here. The gag in her mouth was preventing her from calling out, so Caitlin eventually moved around a little, trying to get the chair to move and make a noise without actually tipping it over, because she couldn´t risk hurting herself or the baby in the process.

Meanwhile Cisco was about to call out for her again when Joe stopped him with a movement with his hand as he tried to register where the noise was coming from. It took him only a few seconds to locate it and when they rounded the next stack of boxes Caitlin promptly came into view.

Her vision was still a little blurry, but she recognized Cisco and Joe the moment they set foot on the platform and came running towards her. Caitlin could feel the ties being undone then and she winced at the pain of suddenly being able to move and freeing her hands from the ties that had been cutting into her skin for the better part of the last day. There was a moment when she actually attempted to stand upright on her feet, but Caitlin soon realized that she was too exhausted to even stand on her own for a second, but fortunately Joe was there to catch her.

“B-Barry...is…he okay…?” she muttered then, struggling to keep her eyes open as Joe reached into his pocket and threw his phone at Cisco, (he had probably forgotten that the man had one himself) before he picked up Caitlin his arms to carry her outside. “Call an ambulance! They have to be quick,” he then called and Cisco was by his side in a second, his stomach twisting at the sight of a barely conscious Caitlin.

“Already one step ahead of you,”

-

Barry hadn´t even bothered to let anyone treat the burns he had suffered from attracting both the beams onto him. He had managed to have them cross eventually, but he hadn´t even waited until Eddie had handcuffed Snart and Rory to race off and off to the hospital in which they had brought Caitlin. He hadn´t told him in what condition she was in, but Cisco had managed to let him know that Caitlin had asked about him before passing out in Joe´s arms.

The burns across his chest were healing, and yet they were hurting with every move, especially when he was running, but Barry ignored them as best as possible. Still he needed to take a moment to catch his breath as he arrived at the hospital, leaning against one of the walls. He still couldn´t quite grasp that his whole life had been turned completely upside down within the last month and it was only now that he realized that, while Iris was still an important part of his life, he hadn´t been acting like a love sick puppy around her anymore. His mind had been occupied with other things, and if he was being honest then he had to admit that she was the last thing on his mind right now, but then again the only thing that mattered right now was that Caitlin was okay and that he got to see her.

When he rounded the corner he found Cisco, Joe, Dr.Wells and even Iris standing there, worry etched into their faces. They all looked up as they found Barry quickly making his way towards them.

“Where is she?” he demanded to know, eyes searching the rooms close by. It was easy to look into most of them through the glass that separated them from the corridor and it only took Barry a second to find Caitlin in one of the hospital beds, surrounded by doctors and nurses. He had already made a move to push past his friends and towards the room, but Joe stopped him, hand resting on Barry´s chest. “Joe I have to see her!”

“She´s being taken care of, son. You gotta let them do their work, alright?” his eyes met with Barry´s and while he knew that the boy could be in and out of the room without either of them noticing he also knew that Barry was intelligent enough to know that they needed the doctors to do their job to make sure that Caitlin was okay.

While Barry did know that he could still feel himself grow restless as his eyes filled with tears, tears he couldn´t fight. The burns on his chest were nothing compared to the way his stomach was twisting as he watched the people bend over Caitlin, attaching her to a heart monitor. Barry knew they were just trying to help, but there was nothing more he wanted right now than to take her into his arms.

Eventually Joe was blocking his view and his eyes flickered up to meet the older man´s.

“I can´t lose her, Joe. I can´t…and the…the…” Barry´s voice cracked and Joe could feel his own heart breaking for his son.

“I know Barry, I know. They´ll be fine, both of them.” He then said, wrapping his arms around the other man.

“Can you promise that?” Barry ever so much as muttered the question as his arms wrapped tightly around Joe, not even caring that the added pressure was only making the pain in his chest worse.

“Oh how I wish I could…”


	10. Chapter 10

It felt like time was slowing down the more Barry was pacing up and down the hospital corridor, waiting for the doctor´s to be done examining Caitlin and telling him what was going on and if she would be okay. It went on and on until it came to a point where Joe and Eddie, who had eventually showed up after making sure that Snart and Rory were safely locked up, had to force Barry to actually sit down so he wouldn´t drive himself, and everyone else, crazy. Despite the fact that he knew that there was nothing he could do now Barry couldn’t bring himself to sit still. He could feel his hands twitch with speed and he had a hard time to keep them under control. That was something that Dr.Wells noticed immediately, of course, so he moved his chair a little closer to Barry, forcing the younger man to look at him.

“Barry, a word?” he then asked, nodding towards the other end of the corridor and Barry knew that he had no choice. He looked back at the hospital room once, finding the nurses and doctors still busy, so he got up from his seat and moved down the corridor with Dr.Wells.

“Look, I know this is a complicated and rather unfortunate situation.” He began, turning his chair so he could face Barry. “But you can´t risk revealing your secret to Iris and Eddie now. The less people know the safer they are, and I don´t think a hospital is the right place to reveal this secret, should you choose to do that one day,” he continued and Barry bit his lip, head hanging low.

“I know…it´s just…” he broke off then, not knowing how to put his feelings into words, but somehow he was sure that Dr.Wells was aware of them.

“I know, Barry. And I understand that it´s hard, but you can´t risk revealing anything. Either you go for a run to calm yourself or you go back there, sit down and wait it out,” And Barry knew that he was right. Right now he really didn´t need any more drama caused by him accidentally revealing his secret superhero identity to his friends. He was about to reply that he wouldn´t leave Caitlin´s side when he heard Joe calling out for him. Barry swirled around immediately, finding one of the doctors, who had been in Caitlin´s room just a minute ago, standing next to Joe and he had to force himself to simply run over there without using his super speed for all of them to see.

“Are you the boyfriend or husband?” the doctor immediately asked and for a moment Barry was a little dumb struck. No. No he wasn´t. Had Caitlin asked for Ronnie? He wasn´t even sure why that was the first thing that came to his mind, but he felt his stomach twist at the simply thought.

“He´s the father,” Joe eventually stepped in for him, elbowing Barry softly to make sure the other surfaced from whatever trance he had suddenly fallen into. It seemed to work though, because at the contact of Joe´s elbow with his ribs Barry stood up a little straighter, his eyes focused on the doctor before him.

“Yes, yes I am. Is she going to be okay? Is the…is…” Barry bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Is the…baby going to be okay?” It was a question he had been dreading ever since hearing about her pregnancy, but in the middle of the fight with Snart and Rory it had been a fleeting thought that had swirled in the back of his mind, making sure he wouldn´t simply give up, but now it was right there, nagging at him and making his stomach twist into knots.

“I am sorry we´ve kept you waiting for so long, but we had to run a few tests and make sure that everything was alright,” the doctor then told him and there was a hint of a smile on his face, something that gave Barry hope. “Miss Snow is going to be alright. She was suffering from exhaustion and dehydration, one of them which we are currently fixing with fluid replacement via IV and well, the exhaustion can be treated with a lot of rest, like you would treat your own exhaustion after a long day at work.” He nodded and the smile got a little more evident on his features. “As for the baby, she´s still in a very early stadium of the pregnancy, so we can´t make any promises, but as of now everything seems to be fine,” he nodded, his hand coming to rest on Barry´s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “You can go see her, but please be careful, she shouldn´t get upset and needs a lot of rest, but I understand you´ll want to sit with her,” another nod followed before he moved to walk down the corridor and Barry barely managed to mutter a _‘thank you’_ , looking after the man before he was pushed towards the hospital room gently by Joe. Barry looked back at his friends over his shoulder, who all managed to give him a somewhat encouraging smile, knowing that Caitlin would be okay eventually.

The beeping of the heart monitor was the first thing Barry noticed when he entered the room, despite the fact that his eyes were trained on Caitlin, who was resting in the bed, eyes only half open. It wasn´t until she noticed him moving closer that she managed to open the completely, looking back at him.

“Barry.” She whispered and he was by her side in a heartbeat, hand carefully reaching out to touch hers.

“Yes. Yes. I´m here. You´re going to be okay,” he replied, as if he had to repeat it for himself to make sure that he wasn´t dreaming. There was a moment of silence at Caitlin turned her head to look at him, fingers somehow intertwining with his. She hadn´t even realized just how much she had missed the physical touch that had seemed so normal for them before. A hand on a shoulder, a hug here and there, it had all seemed so normal before things had become weird and now that she had almost lost him Caitlin needed to feel him even more.

“Cisco told you, didn’t he?” she then asked, only now noticing the tears in Barry´s eyes. It wasn´t the first time she had seen him on the verge of tears, but this was different, those tears were caused by her, and Caitlin found that she wasn´t able to deal with that very well. “I`m sorry…I should have…I should have looked out more, we knew that these two were out there, but I had this late…appointment and I wasn´t even looking at my surroundings…”

“Caitlin, no.” Barry shook his head as he interrupted her, squeezing her hand slightly. “Don´t apologize. It´s not your fault these bastards took you. They could have gone for any of my friends. They could have taken Dr.Wells and then we wouldn´t have stood a chance.” He bit back a sigh. “And…don’t be upset with Cisco. He had to do something, I was frozen, no pun intended, and without him telling me I probably wouldn´t be here now,” There was another moment of silence in the room and Caitlin really wasn´t upset with Cisco. She had known that he would end up telling Barry if worst came to worst and she was glad that it had helped to save his life rather than to endanger it, like she had feared it would.

“Why…didn´t you tell me?” Barry eventually asked and deep down he knew the answer. They had barely been on speaking terms this past month so he probably wouldn´t have come straight forward with such news either. Caitlin let out a sigh then and for a moment the beeping of the heart monitor got louder and more rapid, immediately alarming Barry. “You have to rest.” He quickly said, still holding on tightly to her hand, even as the beeping went back to normal. “We can talk about this later, you need to get some sleep and make sure that you and the baby are alright,”

Caitlin bit her lip as she directed her gaze towards the ceiling for a moment. “I only found out two days ago,” she then said, fingers still intertwined with Barry´s. “I didn´t mean to keep it a secret…but I only really got confirmation right before they…before they captured me. Cisco…he found out by accident,” Caitlin wasn´t about to tell him that she had been sitting on the floor of the bathroom, crying. She might have been exhausted, but he brain was still working quite well. “I was going to talk to you,” she then said honestly, glancing back at Barry for a moment. “Because this isn´t us being children and dancing around each other anymore.” She bit her lip once more as she took another deep breath, finding her own eyes filling with tears.  “For a moment…I actually considered…an abortion,” the words were hanging in the air, almost weighing them down as Barry held on so tightly to her hand, almost afraid to hurt her. “Because having a child, especially in the world we live in, with the dangers we face every day, and a baby whose parents don´t even know how they feel about each other…it sounded insane,” Caitlin glanced back at Barry once more, tears running over the side of her face, as she couldn´t bring herself to look away all of a sudden. “But then…then they captured me and all of a sudden all I wanted was to protect this child, which is strange because it´s barely as big as a poppy seed, which is not very big…but…” she trailed off, untangling her fingers from Barry´s to reach out so she could rest her hand against his cheek, her thumb wiping the tears away while her own were still falling freely down her cheeks.

Barry couldn´t even begin to explain how he felt. He had always been a rather emotional person and the last few hours hadn´t really helped with that. Still, he leaned into her touch, not fighting the tears he knew were falling out of relief. They could worry about this whole mess later and then try to fix it, but for now all that mattered was that Caitlin and the baby were okay and that they got some rest. “Just…get some sleep. I´ll be here when you wake up,” he promised, his own hand coming to rest over hers. There was absolutely nothing that could get Barry to leave her side now. He still felt guilty about letting things come this far and her being taken away, he was going to stay right here and hold her hand until Caitlin woke up again.

Silence settled over them once more, but this time it wasn´t an uncomfortable one. It was a silence that had Caitlin almost drifting off to sleep if it hadn´t been for Joe knocking on the glass window. Barry looked over then, noticing the gesture the older man was making, indicating for him to come out to speak to him. Normally he would have refused, but he knew Joe well enough to notice when something was important. “I´ll be right back,” he then said, looking back at Caitlin. “I´m just going to tell the others that you´re okay, they´re all outside,” he explained, finding Caitlin nod slightly in agreement.

“But after that you´ll stay with me until I fall asleep, promise?” she then muttered and Barry quickly got up from his chair, leaning in to press his lips against her forehead as a response.

“I promise,” he then whispered before turning away and moving to leave the room so he could find out whatever it was that Joe wanted from him. Somehow Barry couldn´t shake the weird feeling returning, the one that made him restless and had his stomach turning.

“Is she doing okay?” Joe asked the moment the door had fallen shut behind Barry and the younger man nodded.

“Yes, she´ll be fine. What´s wrong?” He had known Joe almost his entire life and he could tell that something was off by just looking at him, much like Joe could tell whenever something was wrong with Barry.

Joe let out a sigh then as he looked back and it was only now that Barry realized that Iris was the only person still around. He frowned and looked back at Joe. “What happened?” he then asked, body immediately tensing up.

“We don´t know yet…all we know was that the transport who was supposed to bring Snart and Rory to the prison where they would have been awaiting trial has been attacked. All the guards were knocked unconscious and…I´m afraid someone helped them escape, Barry.”


	11. Chapter 11

This was the last thing Barry needed right now. He knew that Snart and Rory would be out for him now more than ever, so he was the only one who could stop them, once again, but he had promised Caitlin not to leave her side. Still he couldn´t just let them run around without at least trying to find them. He bit back a sigh, looking back at Joe, who seemed to be about as done with this than he was. Those two criminals had hurt a lot of officers and on top of it all they had endangered Caitlin and the baby.

Joe could tell just how much this was affecting Barry, which was understandable, and he knew that he would have to sit down and have a talk with him about all of this, but they would have to postpone that until they had found Snart and Rory. They couldn´t risk anyone else getting hurt just because these crazies were back on the road. The worst part about all of this was that it was quite obvious that there had to have been someone who helped them escape, someone who was on their side, and that could only mean more trouble. Joe found himself resting his hand on Barry´s shoulder then, giving it a light squeeze. “Hey, it´ll be alright, son. We´ll catch those bastards, I promise.” He then said and Barry could simply nod. There was nothing else they could do, really, other than believe that they would catch them fast enough to ensure they wouldn´t cause any more damage.

Barry´s eyes fell on Iris then, who was still sitting across from them, and he moved towards her then, biting back another sigh as he bent down, reaching out to take her hands. “I know it´s been a long day…but could you please stay here with Caitlin? I have to go look for Snart and Rory and I promised not to leave her alone,” This should have been an awkward situation, really, but somehow it wasn´t. The feelings he´s had for Iris before seemed to have become a somewhat distant memory now without Barry even noticing. He had been occupied with fixing his relationship with Caitlin rather than running after Iris and Barry figured that his perspective had changed. Still, there was something in his best friend´s eyes, something he couldn´t quite define, but then again she was probably just tired from being up all night and worrying about Eddie and her father.

A small smile appeared on her face eventually though and she squeezed his hands. “Of course, Barry. I´ll make sure she´s okay,” Iris then promised before pulling her best friend into a hug, holding him close for a moment. Once he had pulled back he returned her smile, more than glad that she was willing to do this for him. Barry moved back towards Joe then, giving the other man a nod before they left to walk down the corridor and around the next corner.

“I´ll return to the station and see if there´s any news on the escape or their whereabouts, I´m assuming you´re going back to S.T.A.R. Labs to check in with the crew?” Joe then asked and Barry nodded, a mix of worry and anger clearly written all over his face. Joe reached out to touch the other man´s shoulder then, looking back at him. “It´ll be alright, Barry. She´ll be alright, I promise.”

There was nothing but another nod from Barry before he was gone, leaving Joe standing in the hospital corridor for a moment longer before he shook himself out of his trance and quickly moved to get to his car. There was no way that they were going to let these criminals escape for good. Caitlin was family, now more than ever, and Joe wouldn´t let anyone so much as touch his family again.

-

Barry couldn´t even say how long they had tried to locate both Snart and Rory, and whoever had helped them escape, but it seemed like they had disappeared off the face of the earth. It wasn´t the first time that this had happened, but this time it had Barry even more angry and frustrated. They were out there and there was no chance that they would find them, not if they didn´t want to be found. Time seemed to have gone by fast, even for someone who managed to run across town within less than a minute, so when Barry finally came to a rest, if you could call it that, the sun had already risen again.

They were all gathered at S.T.A.R labs, except for Eddie of course, whom Joe had sent to stay at the station in case any news about the whereabouts of the two criminals came in. Everyone was visibly exhausted, Cisco was practically falling asleep on his desk, but he forced himself to stay awake, typing things into the computer in hopes of getting any hints. Barry buried his head into his hands and let out a sigh, only looking up when Dr.Wells rested a hand on his shoulder.

“We´re all exhausted, we should get some sleep. I know this is an important issue, and I can assure you that I want these criminals to be behind bars as much as all of you do, but it won´t help us if we´re barely able to keep our eyes open. They won´t be coming back until they´ve come up with a new plan, which could take a while since we´ve destroyed their weapons, so please, get some rest.” He looked over at Cisco and then at Joe, who nodded.

“I have to go see Caitlin,” Barry then said, shaking his head and getting up from the chair he had been sitting in. Before he could disappear Joe stepped in front of him though, looking back at the younger man.

“Come on, I´ll drive you,” and it really was more of a command than an offer, so Barry didn´t protest. They were silent the whole way to the car, but as soon as they had settled and left the garage Joe glanced over at Barry, the worry clearly showing still beneath all the exhaustion. “I´m not saying that you´ll have to talk to me about any of this,” Joe then said as he drove the car out onto the street, “But I want you to know that I´m here for you, son. Whenever you wanna talk, or you need some advice, I´m here,”

A small smile tugged on the corner of Barry´s lips at the other man´s words and it would have lasted longer if he hadn´t been so exhausted, not so much physically but emotionally. “Thank you…it´s just…I think I´m still trying to make sense of it all,” he then replied, leaning back in his seat. “It wasn´t something that was planned…it happened…on Christmas. I was upset over Iris shooting me down and Caitlin was upset over Ronnie. She was drunk…I shouldn´t have done it, I know, but she was kissing me and begging me and it was just so nice to finally be wanted,” a sigh escaped his lips and Barry closed his eyes for a moment. He knew that they had been stupid, but there was no way of taking it back and while he hated that it had made things awkward he couldn´t say that he regretted sleeping with Caitlin. He might have regretted the circumstances under which it had happened, but not the act itself.

“So…do you want to keep the baby? You and Caitlin I mean, obviously. You probably didn´t have a chance to talk about that,” Joe then said, ever so often glancing back at Barry while driving. He knew that Barry had been head over heels in love with Iris only a month ago, but he had also noticed changes in the other man´s behaviour ever since that Christmas party. There had been less moping around and sad stares into Iris direction, (it was funny to him how Barry had thought that no one had noticed them before), and it seemed like something else, or someone else, had become more important that trying to chase after someone who was obviously in a happy relationship. Of course he hadn´t expected that this would be the outcome of it, but maybe it wasn´t all too bad, not for Barry at least. Surely, Joe didn´t have any insight in either of their feelings towards the other, but he had always thought that there could have been something more between them.

There was another sigh from Barry, which pulled Joe from his thoughts and he glanced over at the other man once more. “I don´t know…I mean…it´s my baby, right? I can´t imagine to just…not have it. It´s ridiculous I know…it´s not bigger than…what? A poppy seed? It doesn´t have a name…but it´s mine.” He sighed once more. “And Caitlin…she thinks the same, but I´m scared as hell Joe.” Barry couldn´t even help the tears that were stinging in his eyes all of a sudden. “What…what if I´m a terrible father? I`m not prepared to be one…I can´t fight villains right and left and have Caitlin worry about ending up being a single mother whenever I leave the lab, but…I can´t just stop and let the city be attacked by villains,”

Joe took one hand off the steering wheel then, resting it on Barry´s shoulder. It pained him to see his son, because that´s what he was, so torn and upset. He had never been able to deal with his children being sad, but back in school it had been bullies and boys who had broken Iris heart, but this, this was a whole lot bigger than both of these things and it wasn´t something Joe could solve for Barry, as much as he would have liked to.  “Look…you´re never ready for these kind of things. It was hard enough being a single father to Iris, but when you came into the mix, things got ever harder. Still, I never regretted taking you in and raising you as my own son.” He gave Barry´s shoulder a small squeeze. “I can´t promise you that things will be easy, especially if you and Caitlin have to work out the status of your relationship at first, but these things…they have a way of working themselves out in the end. That baby deserves a family, whether you and Caitlin are a couple or not. I know you two are great friends, so you´ll work this out, and I´ll be here too, I´ll always be there for you, Barry. I promised that a long time ago, and I´ll be there for Caitlin too, she´s family.”

He gave the other man a smile and Barry was quite glad that they had reached the hospital and Joe was stopping the car, because he quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and reached over to pull Joe into a tight hug. He couldn´t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks, but this was a lot better than bottling everything up. It wouldn´t be easy, God it would probably be the hardest thing he had ever done, and that said a lot, but knowing that he had the support of the person he had always looked up to, that meant the world to Barry.

He held on tightly for another moment before pulling back and wiping the tears from his cheeks. It wasn´t the first time Joe had seen him cry and it probably wouldn´t be the last, but he knew that the other man wouldn´t think less of him. Barry had always been a rather emotional person and right now he simply had no strength to hold anything back, especially not when he was with someone whom he trusted. There was another squeeze to his shoulder as Barry pulled back and he managed to give Joe a small smile.

“Thank you, really.” And there wasn´t a need for more words then. Barry knew that Joe would always be there for him, would come to his aid if he needed him, it had been that way almost his entire life and it always would be.

Joe then sat back in his seat as he watched Barry exit the car and walk towards the hospital entrance, not quite ready to leave just yet. He was tired, like everyone else who had been up all night, but he just needed a moment to himself. He had known that his kids would eventually grow up, but with Iris moving out and now Barry being a father, things were suddenly moving so fast and maybe he was beginning to feel a little old. He sat there for a moment longer then, slowly realizing that yes, he might be getting older, but he was also going to be a grandfather, and that thought alone was enough to make his lips curl into a smile as he started the car to drive home.

-

Barry had already rounded the corner and moved into the corridor which would lead him to Caitlin´s room. He hadn´t used his speed to get there faster, mostly because he was still trying to remove the tearstains from his cheeks. He didn´t want Caitlin to see him cry again, even if he knew she wouldn´t judge him. Still, he probably looked like hell anyway, there was no need to add to that.

The moment Barry reached Caitlin´s room and looked through the glass window he noticed that something was different. Iris wasn´t the person who was sitting in the chair next to Caitlin´s bed anymore and the moment Barry noticed just who it was, his eyes grew wide.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m sorry this took a while, but here you go! :)

“What are you doing here?” Barry was still rather confused and pretty sure that this had been the last person on earth he would have expected to show up here. Not because she wouldn´t care, but because it simply didn´t make any sense. Snart and Rory coming for Caitlin again, that he would have understood, but this didn´t make any sense to him. Or maybe it did in a way, but he was probably too tired to make all of those connections in his head.

“It´s nice to see you too, Barry. Not under these circumstances, obviously, but you know.” Her lips curled into a smile and before he could even say anything in return she had wrapped her arms around him already, hugging him tightly. Something was telling Barry that she _knew_ , otherwise there wouldn´t have been a reason for her to be here.

“Felicity…” he then murmured, his own arms wrapping around her in return. It was strange how, despite her bubbling personality, she always managed to bring a sense of calm to him. He felt a lot calmer the moment her arms had wrapped around him and maybe that was something Barry needed. “What are you doing here?”

She squeezed him a little tighter for a moment before letting go and taking a step back. “Cisco called and told us what happened, I think he´s trying to look for all the help you guys can get, which is good. So yes, we´re here to help. Oliver and Dig are with the others and I came here to look after Caitlin.” She then explained, her voice quiet, as if not to wake the sleeping woman.

“Where´s Iris?” Barry had to admit that he was still a little confused, though he was glad that his friends had decided to come and help them, because as much as he hated to admit it, they needed all the help they could get for this.

“I told her she could go home. She said she wanted to write a new post for her blog, make sure that everyone who´s reading it knows just how dangerous these two criminals are, but hey, at least you don´t have to keep the pregnancy a secret from her! Wouldn´t want to add another one to the list. Though I would like to know how exactly you got her pregnant. I mean. Not ‘how’, I know the basics of that. Just…you know.” Felicity broke off, gesturing with her hands, a slight blush resting on her cheeks and Barry couldn´t help but chuckle. He had really missed her.

“I wish I could say it´s a long story,” he then told her. “But it´s really not. I´ll tell you later though, alright? I´m going to go back to the lab to see Oliver and the others, could you stay here for a while? I mean of course we can use your abilities to help us locate Snart and Rory, but I need someone to sit with her. Someone who´s not afraid to kick some ass should anything happen. I promise I´ll send someone to step in for you…as soon as I find someone.”

Felicity gave him a smile and she reached out to rest her hand on his arm for a moment. “Don´t worry about it, Barry. I´ve got my computer here and I can hack into the hospital´s Wi-Fi so I can work from here.” She gave him a small wink before pointing at the laptop that was waiting for her on the chair she had been sitting in just a few minutes before. “We´ll find these bastards, I´ll promise.”

At her words his lips curled into a soft smile and he nodded, resting his hand on top of hers for a moment. “Thank you, Felicity.” He then muttered before disappearing from the room in a blink to make his way back to the lab, leaving Felicity with Caitlin.

-

Barry arrived at the lab less than a minute later, finding everyone busy with Cisco staring at the computer screen intently and Joe cursing under his breath. His eyes fell on Oliver, who was talking to Dr.Wells, and looked up as soon as he noticed that Barry had joined them.

“Hey,” he then said, raising his hand to greet him before making his way over to the other man. “Cisco called us for help.” Oliver explained and Barry nodded.

“Yeah, I talked to Felicity,” he then replied, which had Oliver nodding. His hand came to rest on Barry´s shoulder for a moment then as he spoke.

“We´re going to find them and we´re going to lock them up. I´d go crazy if anyone would have went after Dig or Felicity, or anyone else I care about. Sadly that´s the burden we have to carry, these criminals learn fast. They know it´s easier to get to us through the people we love, which is why we can´t let them go on with this.”

Barry knew that Oliver was right, even if he might have not believed him when it came to a few things in the past. They had gone after Caitlin because she worked with the Flash though, Barry didn´t even want to know what they would have done if they had known just how close the two of them were. It would have been bad had they gone after Cisco or Dr.Wells, or even Joe, but with those three it would have been a completely different situation. He would have still been worried, because they were his friends, part of his family, but Caitlin…Caitlin had quickly become the most important person in his life and she was also carrying his child, another reason to be even more protective of her. That was still something he hadn´t quite been able to grasp though, but he was sure that it would settle in eventually and maybe hit him even harder than it had before, but for now he had to concentrate on catching Snart and Rory, until that hadn´t happen Barry wasn´t sure if he could sleep safe and sound again.

“The only problem we´re having right now,” Cisco said, looking up from the screen he had been staring at for God knew how long, “Is that they´re probably going to lay low for a while. We´ve destroyed their weapons and they don´t have any superhuman abilities,” Usually that would have been a good thing, because it meant that it was easier for Barry to defeat them, but they weren´t stupid, they had actually proven that they were quite the opposite, so they would try and hide until they could come up with another plan.

“Unless they´re friends with a meta human,” Dr.Wells then chimed in, looking back and forth between them all. “Someone helped them escape, someone who had no problem breaking open the door of a highly secured transporter and knocking out two police officers. I´m not sure a simple human being is capable of that, and if they are, well…then we have a whole new problem at our hands.”

Barry didn’t really want to hear any of these things, but he knew that Dr.Wells was right. They had to find out who was helping Snart and Rory, otherwise they were in for another unpleasant surprise.

“Eddie´s on the crime scene. I´ll go and check with him, see if any of the guards have woken up and remember anything, or if we can determine anything strange about how they have been broken out,” Joe then said with a nod, giving Barry another last look before he was on his way. He would have suggested that Barry got some sleep, they could all use a little bit of that really, but he knew it would be of no use, Barry probably wouldn´t sleep until they had found Snart and Rory and Joe couldn´t protest, because he would have done exactly the same thing.

When Joe was gone Barry turned back to Oliver, who nodded over towards the corridor. “Come on, let´s take a walk while these people do their work, and no protesting. You can´t just go running around the city like a manic hoping to find them by chance,” And there was really nothing Barry could say against that, because he knew that Oliver was right, so he simply nodded and followed the other man out into the corridor.

“Look…I remember what I said the last time we saw each other,” he eventually began, looking over at Barry. “That guys like us don´t get the girls we want,” Oliver then added and Barry stopped for a moment, holding up his hands.

“Yes, I do. And if you want to say that just because I didn´t get the girl I shouldn´t have gone and gotten the next best girl pregnant, especially not Caitlin, then I know that. But it´s not what you think…” He didn´t really manage to finish his sentence because Oliver cut him off, shaking his head.

“That´s not at all what I was going to say, Barry.” he then let him now. “Look…I know when to admit that I might have been wrong. Sometimes…it does feel like we never really get the good things, like love and happiness, even if we´re the good guys,  but whatever happened between you and Caitlin…maybe that´s your chance to prove me wrong. If anyone had done this to Felicity I would have probably shot him, no questions asked, even if she wouldn´t have approved of that, and maybe that´s the difference. You won´t kill them, not if it isn´t absolutely necessary, and maybe that´s why you´ll get your happy ending eventually. Felicity…she´s way too good for me, Barry. She´ll probably tell you otherwise, but still. Caitlin…she seems like a wonderful person and the way she looks at you sometimes, the way she worries and how much faith she has in you? It seems like you´re the person she trusts in most and that´s something you shouldn´t just let go. It might not be the whole ‘falling head over heels in love with someone’ thing yet, but it´s a start and you could be happy, Barry. Not for my sake or for the baby´s sake, but for your own. We all deserve happiness, but not all of us allow ourselves to just be happy, to have what they could, because they don´t think they deserve it, so please don´t make the same mistakes that I have made.” He paused for a moment, looking over at the other man. “And this is the longest speech you´ll ever hear from me, Barry, so you better make something of it.”

-

When Caitlin awoke it took her a moment to locate where she was. She blinked a few times and slowly but surely everything was coming back. The kidnapping, the pregnancy, the hospital, Barry, everything, and she had to admit that it was a little overwhelming. Caitlin tried focusing on her breathing so she would stay calm and not end up having a panic attack, because that was really the last thing she could use right now. It wasn´t until there was a hand resting on top of hers that she realized that someone else was in the room with her. For a moment Caitlin assumed that it was Iris, because Barry had told her that someone would sit with her while he was gone, but when she turned her head and saw Felicity sitting there Caitlin was momentarily confused. Was she dreaming? Not that she would have completely ruled out the possibility of Barry calling Felicity and Oliver for help, but somehow that wasn´t the first thing that came to her mind, especially not since she was still far too tired to make sense of everything.

“You´re alright Caitlin,” the Blonde said with a smile, hand still resting on top of hers. “I´m here to watch out for you and to kick the bad guys’ ass should they come around. I might throw a laptop first, but you know.” She let out a small chuckle, eyes meeting with Caitlin´s as the other woman squeezed her hand.

Somehow Caitlin could tell that Felicity knew. She didn´t even blame Barry, or whoever had done it, for telling her. She had always been close to Barry and if they were here to help, maybe even the whole Arrow Team, then their chances of finding Snart and Rory would increase. Caitlin could feel herself getting angry by simply thinking about the two men who had kidnapped her though and she instinctively placed her other hand on her stomach. It was almost weird how protective she had gotten of something that wasn´t bigger than a poppy seed at the moment, but the simple thought of having almost lost it made her sick. Things might have not been easy, but then again when had they ever been?

“Do you need anything? Should I call for a doctor?” Felicity´s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and Caitlin looked over at the other woman, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips.

“I…kind of really want some crackers. And peanut butter.” She then said, biting her lip until she found Felicity smiling back at her.

“That I can do,” she then nodded. “At least those are easy cravings. I mean it could have been something hard to get like bunya nuts, which are native to Australia. That would probably take me a while. I mean I´m sure you can get them here somewhere, I wouldn´t actually go all the way to Australia. Barry probably would though, for you.” Felicity let out another chuckle and Caitlin couldn´t help but join in. Yes, Barry would be the type to run all the way to Australia if she was craving a fruit that could only be found there and that thought alone made her smile.

Felicity had already gotten up from her chair and made her way towards the door when her laptop made a beeping sound and she stopped, turning around to check on it. Her eyes wandered over the screen for a moment before growing a little wider.

“Oh.”


	13. Chapter 13

“I haven´t had the best experiences with _‘oh’_ moments these past few days, what´s wrong?” Caitlin´s voice pulled Felicity from her thoughts and she looked back at the other woman.

“Oh. I´m sorry. I mean, not _‘oh’_ if that makes you anxious,” she shook her head. “Just…the computer found out that Snart has a sister. She´s not a meta human of any kind, at least not that we know. But it seems like they didn´t have the best childhood with many reports of their father abusing them as kids.” Felicity bit her lip. “That only came out once he had died though, being a cop himself he had been able to cover it all up…” Felicity might have often complained about her mother before, but in moments like these she always came to appreciate just how much her mother loved her.

“So…you think his sister helped them escape?” Caitlin asked and Felicity´s eyes grew a little wider, which caused Caitlin´s lips to curl into a soft smile. “I´m not stupid, Felicity. Barry promised to stay with me, and he´s not here, and there´s only one reason he´d leave this room and that´s if something has happened with these two criminals. It only makes sense that they escaped and are threatening us again,” She might have been weakened a little, but her brain was still working just fine.

“It sounds plausible,” Felicity eventually replied once she had gotten a grip on herself again. “Look…I have to call the lab and tell them, I still get you those crackers and the peanut butter though, I promise.” She then smiled, a smile that was matched by Caitlin before Felicity grabbed her phone and headed out of the hospital room.

-

“Wait…so one woman managed to take down two guards and break out Snart and Rory all by herself? Damn.” Cisco leaned back in his chair, looking at Oliver, who had just gotten off the phone with Felicity. It wasn´t even the fact that she was a woman, Cisco was the last person to even think that women weren´t as capable of doing these things as men were, but assuming that she didn´t have any special powers this meant that she was dangerous. Adding her to the mix along with Snart and Rory was just making things worse and who knew just how angry they were now that Barry, or The Flash, had tried to lock them up?

“Seems like it. We have to be very careful about all of this,” Dr.Wells chimed in, looking back and forth between Oliver and Barry. “We can´t just go out there and hope to find them to take them down. I hate to say it, but these guys are clever. They know how to play games and they don´t need meta human abilities for that,”

They all knew that Dr.Wells was right. Somehow those two were the most dangerous people they had faced during the last year and maybe they had made the mistake in assuming that they weren´t as bad because they didn´t have any special powers, but they were clever and they knew where to hit so it would hurt. Barry´s thoughts immediately drifted back to Caitlin and despite the fact that he knew that she was safe and not alone he couldn´t help the way his stomach twisted. They had to be quick to get Snart and Rory behind bars, and this time they would keep them there.

“Dr.Wells is right,” Oliver then said. “They´re going to be smart about this. They won´t just come and attack. They´ll sneak around and come through the backdoor.”

“I´m pretty sure all our backdoors are secured ever since _Blackout_ came in here and almost killed us all.” Cisco was quick to say, which only caused Oliver to raise an eyebrow at the other man.

“I…don´t think he meant an actual backdoor, Cisco.” Barry then chimed in, looking over at Oliver. “Or…did you?”

“No. I didn´t mean an actual backdoor.” Oliver explained, shaking his head. “They know that Caitlin is being watched, so they won´t go for her again. They will choose someone else from this team. Someone who they think can be easily persuaded. I wouldn´t be surprised if they try using Snart´s sister to go after Cisco.”

“Me?” Cisco´s eyes grew a little wider and he sat up straight in his chair. “Why me?”

“Because they know that Dr.Wells wouldn´t fall for their tricks. But to have a young, seemingly naïve, guy fall for a woman, and I´m assuming she´s good looking, is easy. “

“Naïve?” Cisco asked, slightly confused and also a little bit offended. Part of him wanted to complain and another one didn´t, because getting insulted by _The Arrow_ wasn´t as nearly as bad as getting insulted by anyone else, but still. He was about to reply though when Barry was quick to cut him off.

“Assuming that´s the case, then we can´t let them know that we´re aware of him having a sister. We have to call Joe and tell him that, if the press asks, they don´t know anything about how Snart and Rory could escape. That way we can be ready for whatever they´re planning and have a chance of them not assuming that we´re ahead of them,”

It made a lot of sense, and Barry had learned to trust Oliver´s instincts, still he didn´t like the idea of just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. He also hated the fact that they would have to put Cisco in danger for this. Snart and Rory were after him, after The Flash, and he had made it his mission to protect people, not to put them in danger.

“Right. So…what do I do?” The question came from Cisco and pulled Barry from his thoughts and he looked over at his friend. He knew that the other man would be willing to do everything to make sure that they caught these criminals and that they were safe, but somehow this only put more pressure on Barry, pressure not only to capture these three criminals, but also to keep his friends safe. He still hadn´t overcome his mother´s death and the thought of losing anyone else, family or friends, was already tearing him apart.

 _Not the time to think about this._ He then reminded himself, shaking his head before looking back at Oliver.

“Alright, what´s the plan?”

-

They had all agreed that Snart, Rory and Lisa, which was his sister´s name, would need at least a day to settle and to come up with a plan. They might have been clever, but they still needed a plan, which was why everyone had agreed to go home and pack a few things before coming back to S.T.A.R labs and staying there for the night. It was the safest place at the moment and it only made sense that they all stayed together should there be any new development. Barry had planned to take a shower, grab a few things and visit Caitlin at the hospital before returning to S.T.A.R labs. He was almost done packing when a knock on the door caused him to stop and look up. Nobody ever came to visit him, why would today be any different? Barry frowned, already in a defensive mood, as he slowly approached his door, wanting to know who was on the other side. Technically Snart and Rory couldn´t know that he was The Flash, but then again he couldn´t really be sure of anything anymore these days. It wasn´t until he heard Caitlin´s voice from the other side of the door that he relaxed, though the frown on his face stayed in its place.

“Barry? Are you in there? Joe said you were going to get some things from here!” she called and he was quick to open the door, surprised to actually see her standing there, despite having heard her voice not just a second ago.

“Caitlin, what are you doing here? Why aren´t you at the hospital? Did anything happen?” he knew that he was basically bombarding her with questions, but he couldn´t hold himself back. He was worried about her, there was a reason she had been taken to the hospital after all.

“I´m fine, Barry.” She was quick to reassure him as she stepped into the small apartment. “I just didn´t want to lay around in a hospital bed and be useless. These bastards hurt me and put our child in danger. Besides, I´m okay. I just needed some sleep,” It wasn´t as weird to call it _‘their child’_ as she would have thought it to be, really. It was as if she was slowly getting used to it, to the fact that she would be having a child with Barry, because an abortion was out of question. Of course there were about a billion things going through Caitlin´s mind, things that could go wrong, but she tried her best not to let them get to her.

“Are you sure you´re alright?” Barry couldn´t help but ask and it was as if he was drawn to her, as if his arms moved on their own accord, wrapping her into a hug. Everything that had happened, from that night they had spent together to her being kidnapped and revealing that she was pregnant, was still a little hard for him to process, which was almost ironic since he had processed having super speed rather quickly, but this right here was something that didn´t only affect him, but Caitlin as well and also the baby they were going to have.

“I´m fine, I told you.” Caitlin muttered into his shoulder, her own arms coming to wrap around him. It felt nice to be close to him again, to not have this awkwardness hanging in the air between them. Barry had always been someone she had felt strangely comfortable being around and over time that feeling had changed into something else, something Caitlin was afraid to show, because it made her vulnerable. She hadn´t felt like this ever since Ronnie had died and if she was being honest she had to admit that she had thought she would never feel it again, but then Barry had come along and broken down her walls so effortlessly, that it had caught her off guard. He had made her smile and whenever she was with him she felt save. Without even trying he had gotten Caitlin to trust her and maybe that was why she hadn´t even realized just how much she had come to care about him.

She had been glad enough to have found someone she could trust, someone who understood her and who knew just how to make her feel better when she was upset that she hadn´t noticed the feelings that had developed, the feelings that might have been there for a while and might have been the reason she had taken him home to her apartment and slept with him in the first place. A desperate attempt at getting something back that she had lost, but now that things were becoming clearer Caitlin realized that these feelings she was having for Barry were different. They weren´t just there because they were going to have a child together, and somehow that was a lot scarier than she had anticipated.

“Really, I´m fine Barry.” She then said, taking a small step back from his embrace, even if she really would have wanted to stay like this forever. Wrapped up in his arms Caitlin felt safe and everything seemed so familiar, it just made her feel like everything was going to be alright in the end. Still, she couldn´t let herself get too emotional right now, especially not when she had no idea just how Barry was feeling. Despite wanting to have this baby with her he could still be hung up on Iris and that was a heartbreak Caitlin didn´t want to set herself up for.

She was quick to give Barry a smile then though, because she was fairly certain that he could hear her overthinking things. She took a look around his apartment then, the smile staying in its place. “This is definitely too small for a baby,” she then decided and Barry couldn´t help but chuckle. He had always known that Caitlin was a strong woman and he should have known that she wouldn´t stay put for long.

“Well I´ve been actually thinking of moving back in with Joe.” He then confessed, looking back at her. “I mean…not that this is an ideal solution, but the house is too big for him ever since Iris moved out and we would have someone to watch the baby, on the weekends and at night at least, should we have to go out to hunt a meta human,” he then explained and Caitlin´s lips curled into another smile as she turned around to look at him.

“That sounds like a good plan to me, for now. Speaking of Joe…he´s downstairs in the car so we should probably get going.” She then added and Barry was quick to nod. He didn´t want to let Joe wait any longer, but somehow he was glad that he had brought Caitlin here and that she hadn´t gone the whole way by herself. He knew that Snart and Rory were probably busy coming up with another plan now but he still couldn´t help but worry about what would have happened if they would have taken her again.

He quickly grabbed the bag he had packed and then headed out the door then, locking it once Caitlin was out in the corridor with him. They made their way downstairs, but before they left the building and came into view for Joe, Caitlin stopped, biting her lip for a moment.

“Barry?” she then asked, causing him to turn around to look at her. “Do you…think we´ll be okay?”

The question didn´t even have a chance to hang in the air between them, because Barry´s lips curled into a smile quickly before he held open the door, his arm sneaking around Caitlin´s waist. “Yeah.” He then said as they moved out onto the street. “I think we´ll be okay, Caitlin.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, hello. I´m still alive. I´m sorry for the long wait, but life hasn´t exactly been easy and I´ve been suffering from a writer´s block. Thank you for everyone who´s stayed with the story though and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Caitlin wasn´t quite sure if the others had slept at all, but the lab was still quiet, except for Barry´s and her hushed voices as they argued.

“Caitlin I´m not going to let you go near those criminals again, especially not now.” It was clear that he was worried and while Caitlin knew that feeling, and appreciated his concern, she couldn’t just sit around and wait while everyone else put their lives in danger.

“Barry, I´m not letting you all go out there alone, I´m just pregnant, not sick.” Caitlin found herself saying and really, they had been having this discussion for about twenty minutes now and she was beginning to think that the others were wide awake and just trying to stay out of the way. She very well understood that he was just worried about their child and her, but the last time someone she cared about had left her behind they had run headfirst in their doom. She tried her best to push those thoughts away though, because while she had moved on from what had happened with Ronnie Caitlin couldn´t help the twisting feeling in her gut.

To be quite honest, the plan they had come up with hadn´t exactly been the best, and that wasn´t helping the situation, but there was not much else they could do. They had assumed that Snart and Rory would go after Cisco, or would use Snart´s sister to go after him, and so they had decided that he would be going to a bar, assuming the rogues were watching him, and send Lisa to draw his attention to her. Everyone else would stay close by, with Oliver and Felicity at the bar, them being the only ones Snart and his crew weren´t associating with The Flash, and Joe, Dr.Wells and Barry, and Caitlin if she had her way, in cars nearby. Granted, it really wasn´t the best play they had ever come up with, but it was all they had and after everything that had happened Cisco had been the first to agree. Caitlin suspected that he was a little afraid, but if this was their only chance to finally get these criminals locked up and stop them from hurting anyone else then he was going to do it.

“We´re only wasting time here, Barry.” She then found herself saying, shaking her head. “This is my decision. You can´t lock me up in here and I swear if you´ll try you´ll regret it for the rest of your life,” The look she had given him must have terrified him a little, though Caitlin never really found out because Felicity had decided to enter the lab at that moment. She was carrying a tray of coffee cups and a bag that was filled with sandwiches, looking at them both. It was obvious to her that she had interrupted something and, while she briefly contemplated to just turn around and leave again, she could feel the bag with the sandwiches slipping from her grasp and she really didn´t want to distribute them all over the floor.

“I brought food,” It was quite obvious actually and Felicity bit her lip as she frowned, placing everything on a nearby table. “I just thought we could all use it, you know, with the day that´s ahead. I got all kinds of stuff…mostly because I don´t know what everyone likes, and then I wondered if you have any cravings already…so I basically bought half the store.” She shrugged her shoulders, biting her lip, and Caitlin gave Barry one last warning look before turning towards Felicity and offering the other woman a smile.

This discussion was over.

-

The rest of the day seemed to drag on and the further it progressed the more nervous they all got. It was probably one of the worst plans they had ever come up with, because they depended entirely on Snart and his gang and if something happened, which they hadn´t thought of, everything could go to hell. They all tried their best not to think about that though, because it would only distract them from their mission and that was something they couldn´t afford.

Caitlin was sharing a car with Joe, because Barry had refused to leave her with someone else, while he was in a different car with Dr.Wells. Cisco had walked to the bar by foot, arriving just now, while Felicity and Oliver had been inside for about an hour already. They were all connected via ear pieces, which would be providing them with a stable and secure connection through all of this, and yet they all couldn´t help but be nervous.

“It´s all going to be okay,” Joe´s voice pulled Caitlin from her thoughts and she released her lip from between her teeth, nodding. She knew that he was just trying to calm her down, and she appreciated it, but it wasn´t exactly working. The person who was probably the least nervous was Oliver, since he was dealing with rogues on a daily basis, even without having super human abilities. It wasn´t helping that Felicity was by his side though, trying her best to sit still and not to draw any attention, and failing.

“Do you think she´ll show up?” she asked, eyes wandering through the room and stopping on Cisco when he entered and made his way over to the bar. They had sat down in a booth in the corner so they couldn´t be easily seen, but would still have a good overview of the bar.

“Of course she will,” Oliver replied, pretending to take a sip of the beer in front of him. No drinking on the job, obviously, but it would have drawn attention to them if they had ended up ordering just water.

“I´m not sure if I actually want her to.” Felicity found herself saying as she bit her lip. One would have thought she should have been used to the danger that came with the job they were all doing, but Felicity couldn´t help but worry that something would happen. “Do you want kids?”

She wasn´t even sure where the question had come from, but she assumed that she was trying to distract herself, an attempt that almost caused Oliver to choke on the drink he was so carefully pretending to have.

“I´m sorry…what?” he then asked, placing the glass back onto the table before looking over at her.

“I mean…not with me. Or you know…maybe. I mean.” She paused, biting her lip once more. “I just…I mean, because I´ve seen how fast this can happen. I´m trying to imagine Barry as a father and…myself as a mother. One day…I mean. And I was just…wondering, if you wanted them, you know.”

There was a moment of silence between them, one in which the air seemed heavier somehow, but before Oliver could come up with an answer Felicity grabbed his arm, fingernails digging into the skin. His eyes shot up towards the bar, where Cisco had been joined by a Blonde. The hair wasn´t the same as it had been on the picture they had seen, but the eyes were undoubtedly the ones of Lisa Snart.

“Barry, she´s here.” Felicity was speaking quietly, nodding as she received an answer onto her ear piece. “Yes. We´ll keep observing them.”

They had all noticed the blonde woman entering the bar, but they couldn’t have been sure that it really was Snart´s sister due to the blonde wig and the sunglasses she had been wearing. Now that Felicity had confirmed it though the tension in both cars had risen. Caitlin had gone back to biting her lip as she looked out of the window, towards the bar, and then back into the rear view mirror, in which they could see Dr.Wells and Barry´s car.

“Are you guys doing alright?” Joe eventually asked, pulling Caitlin from her thoughts once more and she sighed.

“You´ve heard us argue, haven´t you?” she then asked, looking over at him, finding him nodding.

“To be honest: It was kind of hard not to hear you argue.” Joe then admitted. “But…don´t be so hard on him. He´s been worried half to death over you and now that he knows about the baby he´s even more worried. He´s not trying to say that you can´t take care of yourself, but this is all a bit much. I just think he´s terrified of losing someone else he cares about.”

Caitlin knew that Joe was right, and it wasn´t like she was actually upset with Barry, but she had always been a very headstrong person and even though she knew that this was dangerous she wasn´t about to sit at home and hope that everything would turn out alright. “I´m not being hard on him.” She then found herself saying, biting her lip. “I´m not upset with him either, I´m just…worried. I´m worried as much as he is and I can´t stand the thought of sitting there and waiting to hear whether or not he´s alright. I´ve done it so many times before and one time it cost me a fiancé.”

Joe simply nodded at her words, having gotten to know Caitlin over the past year he was aware what she had been through and he really just wished both Barry and her some happiness when all of this was over. He reached out to rest his hand on her arm then, offering her a small smile, which Caitlin returned. She knew that he was only looking out for Barry, and for all of them really, and for that she was really thankful. Before she could voice any of those thanks though they could hear Felicity speaking to them through the ear piece.

“They´re leaving the bar. Oliver is going to follow them on the bike.”

Caitlin could feel her stomach tightening into knots and she reached out to hold Joe´s hand as they looked towards the bar where they found Lisa and Cisco walking out, laughing, her arm linked with his as they made their way over to her rather expensive looking car. They had placed a GPS tracker on Cisco, making sure they would be able to find them should they escape in traffic and that way they would also be able to stay behind far enough to not be seen by them. It wasn´t long until Oliver was leaving the bar then and made his way over to his bike, which had been parked in an alley, ready to follow Cisco and Lisa.

Caitlin´s eyes drifted back to the rear view mirror and she could see Barry getting out of the car, ready to follow Oliver. She could feel her stomach twist again and before Joe could even say anything she was out of the car and crossing the street to catch him before he was speeding off. She wasn´t quite sure what had made her jump right out of the car, but Caitlin couldn´t bear the thought of having him going off and putting his life in danger when they had fought beforehand.

“Barry!” she called, hands pressing against his chest as she tried to catch her breath.

He blinked and stopped when he felt her hands, looking back at her. “Caitlin.” He had already lost sight of Oliver and the car, but with his speed it would be easy to catch up on them and they had the GPS tracker to find Cisco and Lisa, so he assumed that he would be fine.

“I´m sorry…I didn´t mean to be so harsh this morning…I just…I was scared to sit around and hear you getting hurt over the ear piece or…worse.” It sounded stupid now, because wherever Barry was going now was a place Caitlin couldn´t follow, even she had to admit that it would be too dangerous. Still, she wouldn´t have minded seeing Snart and Rory again to give them a well-deserved slap. There was no place for this right now though and it was more wishful thinking than anything else, maybe even something to distract herself from her own worries.

“Caitlin…” Barry muttered, pulling her from her thoughts and she looked up, meeting his eyes. She could tell that he hadn´t liked arguing with her either and her stomach was twisting at the thought of letting him go. She cared about him a great deal and Barry felt the same. He had always found her intriguing, wondering just why she wasn´t smiling and the moment he had found out that he could make her smile he had made it his mission to do just that. She had always been there for him and he had done the same for her in return. If he thought about it now there were a few moments where he had almost kissed her, or thought about it but had then quickly disposed of the thought, coming to his mind and then they had ended up sleeping with each other that night on Christmas. Barry had tried his best to forget about it, but if he was being honest then he had to admit that it wouldn´t have happened if he hadn´t been feeling something for Caitlin.

It was only now that she was standing in front of him, eyes filled with tears and hands fisting into his shirt almost desperately, that he could realize the full capacity of his feelings for Caitlin. It struck him to the core and for a moment Barry felt like he had forgotten how to breathe. His lips were parted in a gasp and he blinked once more, still he didn´t take his eyes off her.

“Caitlin…I…” He couldn´t finish his declaration though, because suddenly her finger was pressed against his lips, shutting him up.

“Don´t. Just…go and rescue Cisco, put these criminals behind bars and then, when you come back safely, you can tell me. I don´t won´t those words to be the last thing I hear from you, Mr. Allen.” She then found herself saying, tears beginning to fall.

 Despite the way his stomach was twisting with worry and fear Barry couldn´t help the small twitch that pulled the corners of his lips upwards. “I promise, Dr.Snow.” he then almost teased, leaning forward to press his lips against her in a brief kiss before he was off, leaving Caitlin standing on the sidewalk, the way the wind messing up her hair being the only proof he had been there at all.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this is the final Chapter of this story. The ending left me a little emotional because this has been my baby for quite a while and I´m so happy that it´s finally finished and at the same time a little sad. Still I´m so glad for everyone who´s stayed with me through this, and patiently waited when I was being slow. So thank you for reading this story and for staying with me! x

Caitlin would have stood there for a lot longer if Joe hadn´t come to get her. Part of her still couldn´t believe that Barry had gone off to fight these three rogues, risking his life once more. Of course that was something he did almost every day, and she was the one who sat in the lab then, hoping he would come back in one piece. Anyone else would have called her insane to do just that, and Caitlin had to admit that she had asked herself why she was doing this to herself more than once, but in the end the answer had always been the same: Sitting at home would have been worse, because this way she might have been confronted with an injured Barry every now and then, but it was also the only way she was able to help him. Sitting idly by and waiting for him to come home without knowing where he had gone off to and whom he was fighting? It would have long driven her insane.

While Joe was taking Caitlin back to the car Barry was running through the city streets at full speed. He was connected to Oliver via an earpiece, making sure that he knew where he was going. He hated that they had to put Cisco in danger, even though he had told them he´d do it without any hesitation, and he hated the thought of having left Caitlin behind once again. He was well aware that he should have been concentrating on other things right now, to make sure he wasn´t distracted and able to take down Snart, Rory and Lisa, but he couldn´t help it. His mind wandered back to all the times he had rushed off, leaving her and the team behind, and the times he had returned battered and bruised. It physically hurt him to think about the worries she must have gone through, and the one she was going through right now.

“Barry? Can you hear me?” Oliver´s voice pulled him from his thoughts and Barry rounded the next corner, stopping in a dark alley to catch his breath and to make sure he was still going the right way.

“Yes, yes. I´m here.” He informed the other man, who seemed to have stopped as well, because Barry was no longer able to hear the roaring engine of his bike.

“They´ve stopped at a town house. Pretty expensive looking. I can´t make out Snart or Rory anywhere, but they´re probably hiding somewhere or aren´t even here yet. Something tells me that this Lisa could take care of Cisco herself if she wanted. I´ll stay put and meet you in the alley opposite the house. I say we´ll wait until we´re sure Snart and Rory are in there.”

Barry copied that before taking up his full speed again, making his way to where Oliver was standing in the shadows now, observing the house into which Lisa and Cisco were disappearing, their arms linked once more. Their laughter was echoing over to Oliver and he was momentarily impressed by how good Cisco´s acting skills were. He had known that the boy was clever, but this was definitely a new thing to add to his list of skills.

It didn´t take much longer for Barry to arrive in the alley then, coming to a halt just next to Oliver, who had already changed into the hooded costume to make sure that Snart and Rory wouldn´t be able to recognise him.

“Did I miss anything?” Barry asked, looking over at his friend and Oliver couldn´t help but smirk.

“You mean within the two seconds it took you to get here?” he then couldn´t help but tease. “No.” They were both hidden by the darkness of the alley now, eyes fixing on the house into which Lisa and Cisco had disappeared.

For a moment there was a silence, apart from the few people walking on the side walk, chatting and laughing, and the cars passing by on the street. Somehow the atmosphere between them had shifted though and Barry had to admit that he was quite surprised by Oliver´s next words.

“Aren´t you…worried about the baby? I mean…do you…want it?”

It wasn´t exactly something he would have expected Oliver to ask and yet, to his own surprise, Barry didn´t even hesitate one moment before he answered with a  “Yes.”

“Don´t get me wrong…I´m scared out of my mind. Both…about having a child and about…this whole thing with Caitlin. But…she´s amazing. She´s always been there…and making her smile had quickly become my mission. I couldn´t see her sad and every time I left her standing somewhere to go out and risk my life to save this city I felt awful, but I could never explain why. It was…always more than friendship, I was just hung up onto other things for so long that I couldn´t see it. This…it might not be the best way, or the most conventional way, and it´s surely not going to be an easy one, bringing a child into a world like this, but Caitlin and this baby…this is my chance to do something right, and not just for this city. It´s my second chance, to start over…which I should have done after I woke up from the coma. Instead I stayed hung up on Iris and almost missed out on something wonderful, but I´m not making that mistake again.”

Oliver had stayed silent during Barry´s speech, his own stomach tying itself up into knots. He might have not been hung up on a different person, but maybe…just maybe hung up on things that had happened to him, on the train of thought that had gotten him through the last few years, that everyone else was better off without him close.

“I think I know…” his words were cut off by Barry´s hand, who came to rest on his shoulder to shut him up, while the other pointed towards the house. Two men were getting out of a parking car and walking around the house, disappearing quickly. It was undeniable that it had been Snart and Rory.

“Show time.” Oliver had switched into fight mode quickly, giving Barry one more look before he had made his way up one of the fire escapes to get on top of the house opposite of the one they were observing.

-

Meanwhile Felicity has joined Caitlin and Joe in their car and they were slowly following the GPS which would lead them to the address at which Cisco was keeping up the charade with Snart´s sister at the moment and Dig and Dr.Wells were in the second car, following close by.

Worrying about Barry was nothing new to Caitlin and yet she couldn´t help but think it to be even worse this time. She wished nothing more than for this to be over so they could finally have a moment in peace without worrying about either of them running off into their death or being kidnapped by villains who were out for blood. Caitlin shuddered at the thought and her hand found Felicity´s, which had been resting on the seat between them, and she found the other woman squeezing it tightly.

Caitlin looked over, eyes meeting with the Blonde´s, and her smile was genuine and thankful.

“They´ll be fine,” she nodded, squeezing Caitlin´s hand once more and while that was probably true Caitlin had stopped counting just how many times she had already told herself that during the last few months it was comforting to hear it from someone else, someone who was well aware of just how she felt.

“They will. They have to be.”

-

Cisco couldn´t quite tell if their plan was working. Surely, they had assumed that Lisa would take him somewhere to ensure that they could take him hostage and do God knows what with him, but he wasn´t sure if they were seriously thinking that they hadn´t come up with a plan of their own and that he was this into her. She was hot, there was no denying that, but knowing just what she was planning was making it a little difficult for him to enjoy the view. He didn´t really have time to mope over the fact that the only hot woman who had hit on him in a long time was just doing it because she was trying to hold him hostage though, because he was too busy keeping up his appearance.

Cisco half expected Snart and Rory to already be there, waiting to tie him to a chair or something, but instead he found himself pressed up against the closed door, Lisa´s lips on hers and well…this was unexpected. It took him a moment to react, and it might not have been his finest moment, but he eventually managed to kiss her back, stumbling after her as she pulled him up the stairs. For a moment he had almost forgotten that he hadn´t actually been picked up in a bar by a hot woman, which was probably the reason he didn´t actually notice the two men standing on either side of the first floor corridor.

In retrospect it helped with their cover though, because Cisco´s confusion and shock were real as he spotted them, big grins on their faces and guns pointed towards him.

“Betcha didn´t expect that, did you?”

There was a response on the tip of his tongue, but it didn´t quite make it out, because suddenly everything was happening at once. An arrow came flying through the window, shattering the glass and hitting Rory in the shoulder, sending him tumbling down onto the ground. Another arrow came in right after, locking itself in the opposite wall, before Oliver was following shortly after.

Lisa was obviously in shock, still she managed to hold onto Cisco, using him as a human shield the moment she noticed that it wasn´t only the Arrow they were dealing with, but also The Flash, who had sped up the stairs to join the fight.

Oliver was ducking away from the flying bullets that Snart had fired from his gun, though there was panic clearly visible in his eyes. It was then that Barry realized that they hadn´t though this through. They hadn´t expected them to go after them this early, instead they had taken Cisco to probably build them new weapons, because without the cold and heat gun they didn´t stand a chance.

That didn´t mean that they wouldn´t be trying though.

Just then Oliver had grabbed another arrow, pointing it at Snart, who had his gun raised and was yelling at his sister.

“Lisa! Get in there!” Barry assumed that he was talking about one of the rooms and he was about to just go and grab her when she reacted, pushing Cisco away from herself and towards the bannister. He stumbled, eyes widened in shock, as he tried to hold on to something, anything, really, but there was nothing. Cisco was falling and it took Barry about 0.1 seconds to decide that saving his friend was far more important than keeping the woman from running away.

He was at the bottom of the stairs quickly, catching a panicked Cisco in his arms before putting him down. “Run!” he instructed him, knowing that Joe and the others couldn´t be far away.

At the same time a bullet was fired upstairs and Barry was there in a heartbeat, catching sight of Oliver, and more importantly Rory, who had gotten to his feet, the arrow still in his shoulder, ready to fire his own bullet right into Oliver´s back.

“Down!” Barry yelled and his friend took the hint, so the bullet intended for him, fired by Snart, hit Rory before the man could fire a bullet himself. His eyes grew wide and he tumbled over, leaving Snart in shock just long enough for Oliver to fire another arrow, knocking the gun out of his hand.

Seconds after more arrows were fired then, pinning him to the wall.

“Are you okay?” Barry´s voice sounded tense as he looked over at Oliver, who simply nodded.

“I´ve got this, get her. She´s probably out the window by now.” He instructed and Barry returned the nod, running down the stairs and out of the house at full speed, preparing to chase after Lisa. He didn´t quite make it that far though, because he was greeted by the rest of their teams, Lisa already in handcuffs next to Joe´s car, looking the opposite of pleased. Dig´s eyes met with Barry´s briefly and Barry nodded, causing the other man to set off for the house to help Oliver.

“We need an ambulance,” Barry then informed Felicity, who seemed to have gotten way ahead of him, having already called one the moment she had heard the shots being fired.  

“You should go. The way I know him Oliver´s probably already gone. We´ll meet you at the lab.”

Barry nodded at her words. He could still feel his heart pounding in his chest, though the adrenaline was slowly wearing off. His eyes met with Caitlin´s briefly, who had just gotten out of the car, and he hated to leave her standing there yet again, but he couldn´t be caught by the rest of the police arriving at the scene.

It were mere seconds in which their eyes met and yet they spoke volumes. She was glad that he was okay, relieved that this was over, happy to be able to finally hear him say these words he´d be telling her the second they would be able to speak alone, more than happy to return those words, and yet sad that he had to leave her standing there.

For a moment Barry was tempted to just stay, to let this all end here, to just become Barry for her, and the baby, but he knew she wouldn´t have wanted it. The city needed protection, there was no denying that, and The Flash was part of him. His super speed had become part of him and they both knew that. What mattered was that she loved him for the person he was, both with and without his powers and Barry would always be thankful for that.

He was by her side in a heartbeat, one had resting on her stomach and the other curling around her neck as he pressed his lips to hers. It felt like the world was falling away then, like there was no one else but them, for once, like that night he had kissed her for the first time, and for the first time Caitlin realized that she might not have been feeling this way because of the amount of alcohol she´s had that night.

His hand against her stomach felt warm and she smiled into the kiss, the sirens being the only thing that was able to bring them back to reality.

“Go,” she muttered, the ghost of a smile still on her lips. It was a smile that Barry returned as he pulled back, leaving her hair tousled from the wind as he disappeared.

And for once Caitlin Snow didn´t worry about him leaving, didn´t worry about what there was to come, she didn´t even worry about having given her heart to him this easily, because she had gotten his in return, and because she knew that Barry would do everything in his power to return to where she was waiting.


End file.
